A different kind of Christmas

Reflecting on what's important and having a simpler, slower Christmas

Photo by Chad Madden on Unsplash

I don’t want to do what I’ve always done

In my bid to get more organised for Christmas, I took my eldest two kids to Smyths toy shop last Saturday afternoon - so we could take pictures of what they’d like Santa to get them. It was absolutely bonkers in there, it’s mid November but it felt like Christmas Eve in there, trollies piled high, huge queues - it was a lot! And even with pretty much every toy available to them on the shelves, my kids couldn’t really pick anything out they absolutely loved.

I get swept away in the feeling like I have to buy the kids lots, just so they won’t feel disappointed. I also question what do those presents mean, as in - look this is how much I love you, I’m going to buy you all of this. I don’t know. I mean, I know as a child, obviously I wanted lots of presents and had high expectations, so it’s hard to balance that isn’t it.

I’m reluctant to spend money on lots of toys, just because that’s what I think I should do, or just because that’s what we've always done.

It’s more than just the presents though isn’t it. It’s everything else around Christmas.

It’s made me think of how I celebrate Christmas and why I celebrate it like that.

Christmas adds to the already heavy mental load for mums

I bumped into my friend earlier this week and she was saying how a) she finds the build up to Christmas totally exhausting and b) how all of this stuff related to Christmas usually falls on mums.

I mean, I’m in total agreement with her, by the time Christmas Day comes around, I’m too exhausted to enjoy it. It’s like OK let’s add all of this extra stuff you have to do for one day of the year, and make it absolutely magical while you are at it. But then we feel bad because we aren’t enjoying it, because we should, shouldn’t we?!

Christmas memories

I'm not a huge fan of Christmas, it was never the happiest time for me growing up. My Dad worked as a Hotel Manager and would often work Christmas Day, but the stresses around this time of year just meant lots of arguments between my parents.

Just not a happy time at all. So I carry these memories with me. I think that my body almost braces itself for a stressful time because that’s what it’s traditionally felt like in my family.

Now of course with my Dad passing away, Christmas feels harder again. It's these big family occasions where you notice who is not at the table, but should be.

A simpler Christmas maybe?

With all this being said, I’d love to have a slow, more mindful Christmas, so I’ve been looking for inspiration on how to do this. If you have any ideas, books, or posts that talk about a slower Christmas, let me know in the comments!

I’ve just started listening to this podcast from

Beth Kempton

all about having a calm Christmas and I’m really enjoying that so far:

What I like, is that Beth talks about honouring the change in seasons at this time of year too. It’s made me think that this time of year is all about shedding what we don’t need anymore, simplifying things and slowing down.

Christmas, or the kind of Christmas that we are sold and that we think is normal, is the literal opposite of that. So it’s no wonder it feels jarring.

What’s important to you at Christmas

At my Mini Retreat for Mums last weekend, we talked about what we loved about this time of year - the answers ranged from making new festive traditions as a new mum, connecting to your faith, quality family time and enjoying having Christmas in your own home instead of going to a relative's house.

I think it goes back to looking at what is important to you at Christmas , and separating yourself from the ‘shoulds’, the Instagram pictures, the Christmas Eve boxes, the trips to see Santa, matching family pyjamas and Elf on the Shelf.

For me, my current values are authenticity, connection, resilience and creativity so it’s about letting these words anchor me and help me when I’m making decisions around Christmas.

My podcast episode on ‘how have your priorities changed as a mum’, might help you start to separate what is and what isn’t important to you:

A few things that we've done over the years for Christmas that I’d like to do this year:

• Letting the kids choose presents to take to the local Children's hospice. 

• Taking a tub of chocolates to the nursing home at the end of our road and the Fire Station around the corner, on Christmas Day. The firemen let the kids sit in the fire engines and put the sirens on for them!

• Going for a walk on Christmas Day

• Giving the kids Christmas pyjamas and a Christmas book on Christmas eve

Things I haven't done yet for Christmas, but I want to do:

• Find a way to buy less but still make the kids happy (ideas welcome please!!)

• Spend money on family experiences rather than lots of presents

• Cook something different to a usual roast dinner (because my kids won't eat it anyway!)

• Do more Christmas crafts with the kids

• Make a garland with dried oranges in it

• Let the kids choose a charity to donate to

What’s important to me at Christmas

Writing this post has made me think that actually what's important to me is doing simple activities with the kids, giving back to charity and having quality family time.

I think it's really helpful to think about this, especially as there’s still a few weeks to go before Christmas, there’s enough time to change plans. Otherwise, it can feel like a runaway train and we end up doing what we’ve always done.

Time for you, in amongst it all

Bringing in pockets of time where you can have time to rest and time out for you to counteract the Christmas overwhelm. Whether it’s a nap, a walk on your own, a 10 minute meditation, journalling - choose something that’s going to make you feel good so you can replenish and recharge in amongst it all.  

Here’s a few self-care tips that are totally do-able even when you are really busy:

I hope this post has made you feel a little less alone if you find Christmas a struggle too, and if you are wanting to make a change to how you celebrate Christmas this year too.

Thank you for reading!

I’d love to know in the comments:

• What Christmas traditions have you carried on from your family?

• What's important to you at Christmas? What new traditions have you started since you've had kids?

• What traditions you’d love to start but haven’t yet?

• What are your tips on having a slower, simpler Christmas?

I’m looking forward to reading your comments and getting some inspiration!