Being creative massively helped my mental health as a mum

I used to feel like my whole identity was wrapped up in motherhood. I felt like I was a mum and that was it.

Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

I massively struggled with my mental health when I had my first two children back in 2014 and 2017. Looking back now, I think the thing that I found the hardest was working out my new identity as a mum.

I knew that I felt different and cared about different things, but I couldn’t articulate this. I felt that my whole identity was wrapped up in motherhood. I felt like I was a mum and that was it.

There was nothing else, nothing just for me. I felt lost and in all honesty, bored.

Are we expected as mums to get all of our satisfaction and fulfilment from raising our kids when the reality of it is a lot of the time it’s mundane, hard work and tiring?

It was only when I gave myself the permission to start exploring things that I might enjoy, that I started to feel better. To write about how I felt. To try new hobbies.

Allowing myself to be creative and follow my passions gave me something just for me and meant that I could express myself. This really helped me understand my new identity as a mum.

I really think that having the focus of coaching, writing and being creative has meant that my mental health has been in a much better place with my 3rd child, who is now 14 months. Knowing that I’ve got something to focus on when he goes down for a nap or when all of my kids are in bed, makes me feel good.

Maybe it’s me, maybe I need something to focus on, to research, to keep my brain busy and to come up with new ideas.

There’s also the urge I’ve got to talk about my experiences as a mum and hear from other mums. It helps me make sense of what I’m going through and I feel less alone because of it.

There’s this idea too in the background, which I definitely had, was that to be creative you had to be in a creative job, like an artist or a writer. So, being creative was only for ‘them’, and not for me. So putting myself out there and saying that I’m ‘creative’ can feel scary, as if I’m putting myself out there to be judged.

But these stories that we tell ourselves about why we can’t do something, actually what if they aren’t true?

What if they were never true?

What if we realised that they were just that, stories, and we could choose not to believe them and do it anyway?

What if the action that we took, proved that story wrong and gave us a new story to tell - one where we followed our passions, expressed our creativity and met those needs?

And it encouraged other mums to do the same?

I’ve realised that it’s OK to have your own definition around creativity - mine involves journalling, writing on Substack and in my newsletter, coming up with new ideas and coaching. I’m being creative because I love it, and it gives me something that I can’t get from being a mum.

There’s so many ways to be creative, if you just give yourself the permission to try, see what you like and what feels good for you to follow.

A really good book on this whole topic is ‘Find Your Unicorn Space’ by Eve Rodsky where she talks about how important it is to prioritise and devote time for activities that unleash your creativity as a mum.

How do you feel about being creative as a mum?

P.S. If you want to take some small steps into working out what some of your new dreams are as a mum, then I’ve got something for you, a free 5 min audio and worksheet called ‘You Can Make This Work’, which will help you to take those first steps in making your dream a reality.