Building creative confidence

Can we learn creative confidence from our hobbies and how our kids approach creativity?

This is the second post of my monthly series called ‘Cocoon’.

Cocoon is a monthly series all about how mums create in the time they have available to them, as well as how motherhood inspires their creativity.

I’ll also be delving into this idea of being in the messy middle. The bit where you are working things out, doubting yourself and coming up with new ideas. When you are finding the courage to try something new even though you don’t know how it’ll work out.

You can read the first post in the series here.

In this second post, I’m going to be delving into how to build creative confidence.

I hope that this monthly series gives you more self-belief, encouragement and it sparks your creativity.

Building creative confidence

I’ve been thinking about what it takes to build creative confidence and courage. I’m definitely still figuring this out myself, so this is a bit of an exploratory post where I’m wondering;

• is creative confidence in the planning and the process?

• can we learn about creative confidence from the way we approach our hobbies?

• can our kids teach us about creative confidence through the way that they express their creativity?

• can we learn tips from other Substackers?

Let’s delve in…

Untangling the messy middle of writing a post

This monthly series, Cocoon, is all about the messy middle and it’s the messy middle that we don’t see. We just see the published post, or the finished piece.

So, the process of what it takes to get to that end point can be a bit of a mystery.

It reminds me of saying “yeah, all good” when I’m asked by another mum how I am, at the school gates in the morning. I don’t talk about the absolute chaos that it’s taken to actually turn up to the school gates on time with 3 kids!

I can get really frustrated when I’m writing a post because it often seems like my ideas just aren’t coming together. A lot of the time, I will write something and have a draft post ready to go. Then, I’ll read it back to myself, totally doubt it and want to start again!!

In the end, I rejig the post and come up with something that I’m a little bit happier with. Then I publish, and it’s out there, imperfect action, in action.

I don’t know the how the writing process goes for everyone else but I instantly assume that the whole process is taking too long and therefore I’m doing something wrong.

I felt seen in this note from

Stephanie Jucar Cooley

when she talked about her process of writing posts:

I’m realising that by having this mindset of trying to rush the process of writing, I’m also taking the enjoyment out of it because I’m only focusing on the outcome.

What if I saw the fact that I can bring all of my ideas together into a published post, as an achievement, and building my creative confidence from this place instead?

Is it in the planning?

I relate to what

Holly A Brown

talks about in her note here - initially creating a writing schedule, but then feeling like this has meant her writing has lacked soul.

Instead, she’s planning a month where she’s writing on topics she loves to speak on, rather than sticking to her schedule.

I find this really interesting because I’ve done a similar thing - I’m currently writing to a schedule with my two monthly series’, ‘The Remembering’ and ‘Cocoon’, and I’m still working out whether I like this schedule or not.

I didn’t have a schedule before and wrote whatever I felt like, but then I felt unprepared. I think for me it’s about having something in the middle - some kind of structure but allowing myself the freedom to write about what I want.

Maybe it’s that combination of a bit of structure and a bit of freedom that helps build creative confidence too.

What can I learn from the way that I approach crochet?

One of my favourite ways to destress is by doing crochet. Here’s my current project which brings me so much joy, just looking at the colours make me happy!

Crochet and a hot cuppa - bliss!

I still see myself as a beginner in crochet so I expect myself to make mistakes - which means the pressure is off.

My expectations are pretty low, so when I do finish a project, I'm pretty amazed, and proud!

I actually love the whole process of crochet, from;

• choosing a pattern that I love (usually a colourful blanket pattern from Lucy at Attic 24)

• the excitement of getting new supplies - having a big bag of colourful wool and a new pattern just waiting for you to get started on

• learning new stitches and patterns and making lots of mistakes along the way - if I have to unravel a few rows and start again, so be it!

• accepting that completing the pattern will take as long as it takes

I think there’s a lot that I can learn here, because the way that I approach crochet is purely for the enjoyment of it, and in that sense, there’s a whole load of self-compassion for my beginner crochet self.

Choosing a new pattern and getting new supplies - there’s something I can learn here about going with my intuition more when I’m writing, as well as writing something just because I enjoy the topic.

It’s about allowing myself to learn as I go and to make mistakes too, as well as accepting that something will take as long as it takes. It comes back to realistic expectations again - why am I expecting myself to write a perfect post, first time? Why am I expecting it to take less time than it does? Maybe it just takes the time it takes and that’s OK.

Be your own rule setter

Sticking with the crafting theme, I loved this collaborative post from

Elin Petronella

&

Louise Tilbrook

- Elin is an artist and published author and Louise is a knitter, designer and writer.

Why you shouldn’t care about the "shoulds" and embrace its literal meaning instead

In this post, I love how Elin and Louise talk about doing things your way instead of listening to the ‘shoulds’ and how this helps your creative confidence:

“Following your gut and experimenting is a crucial part of the learning process and is vital in order to develop your creativity - and more importantly to develop confidence in your own creative ability”

Louise Tilbrook

What could we learn from the way that our kids approach creativity?

Well, kids just go for it don’t they - creativity is just something they do, without fear or judgement, at least when they are small. It’s how they express themselves.

They are proud of themselves and their creations - my son taped together some empty cardboard boxes today and he was super proud!

My daughter sings and dances to express herself and because it quite simply fills her with joy. It’s something she needs to do. It’s a release. She wouldn't be her if she didn't do it.

They say that ‘a singing child is a happy child’ which I always remind myself when she’s belting out her tunes! (Although I will tell you now, this girl does not need a microphone, her natural volume setting is LOUD!!)

Our kids can teach us that creative courage is innate in us, and to go ahead and do it without overthinking it.

My youngest and my eldest looking across Swansea Bay from Mumbles Pier, on Mother’s Day.

Bringing it all together

So, if I break down all of these lessons learnt from the planning and process, hobbies, our kids and tips from fellow Substackers, maybe we can learn to:

• Focus on enjoying the process

• Celebrate our achievements

• Have some structure and some freedom when planning

• Bring in self-compassion

• Go with our intuition more and do something just because we enjoy it

• Give ourselves permission to be a beginner

• Not get too attached to the outcome

• Accept that creating just takes as long as it takes

• Follow our gut and experiment

• Lean into that creative courage which is innate in us

I like how these lessons all feel gentle, flexible and spacious. I’m going to bring myself back to this list when I am having a wobble, or I’m struggling with my creative confidence.

I hope that these lessons give you inspiration for building your creative confidence and courage too!

Thank you so much for reading - I appreciate every single like, comment and restack from you!

Join me in the comments and let me know:

• What helps you build your creative confidence?

• Do you have a creative hobby and what can this teach you about creative confidence?