Carving out the space to dream and taking action
Sharing 3 practical ways for you to remember who you are and what you want, so you can feel more fulfilled and inspired as a mum.
This is the second post of my monthly series called ‘The Remembering’.
This monthly series will be all about remembering yourself. Not who you are as a mum, or a wife, a partner, a daughter, a sister, a friend or a colleague.
You.
In this monthly series, using my experience as a Coach for Mums, I’ll be supporting you to remember who you are and to take action on this, in a totally sustainable way as a mum.
I hope that you find these posts uplifting, empowering and that it’s a way to help you find your way back to who you always have been.
How can you start to remember who you are and what you want, in amongst motherhood, work, and everything else that you've got going on?
In this post, I want to share 3 practical ways for you to remember who you are and what you want, so you can feel more fulfilled and inspired as a mum.
Feeling unfulfilled as a mum
Feeling uninspired, bored and unfulfilled as a mum is not something we really talk about. It’s hard to admit out loud that your current situation just might not be enough for you, or isn't working for you.
You might have thoughts like:
I just didn’t think that being a mum would be like this
I feel like I’m just going through the motions
I should be happy shouldn’t I? I wanted my kids and this life and I’m still not happy. What’s wrong with me?
I feel guilty for wanting more than I’ve got
On top of this, there’s the fear of judgement too, of wondering what people will say if you tell them that you feel this way.
Maybe the thought of changing your situation feels like too much of a mountain to climb. You don't know where to start. So, you end up staying stuck where you are with this low level hum of discontent in the background.
Honouring motherhood as a massive life change
Maybe the reason why you feel unfulfilled, bored and uninspired is because since you became a mum, you haven’t had the time or space to honour what a massive life change this was for you.
You haven’t had a chance to step back from everything going on in your busy life as a mum, and think to yourself:
What do I want now that I’m a mum?
What are my hopes and dreams?
What makes me happy?
What do I enjoy?
How would it feel to let yourself dream about how you'd like your life to look? Of what could be possible for you?
A life that feels good to you.
Remembering who you are and what you want, in amongst motherhood, work, and everything else that you've got going on.
The start of remembering who you are and what you want
These 3 practical tips will help you to remember who you are and what you want, so you can feel more fulfilled and inspired as a a mum:
Carving out space to dream
Getting OK with your dreams taking longer to achieve
Taking action (and I've got something that will help you get started with this)
Carving out the space to dream
Carving out the space to dream is going to look different at each stage of motherhood. My kids are 9, 6 and 1, so my youngest's nap-times are the only time I consistently have for myself at the moment, but I’m aware that this will change soon when the nap refusals start!
I mean, having a whole afternoon or day to really sink into your dreams would be amazing, but let's be realistic, those kind of spacious afternoons don’t come around often! Instead, fitting in 5 or 10 minutes here and there is enough to start with.
How about listening to a short 5 min meditation to bring in some calm and stillness, before you journal around how you want your life to look like.
Or listening to a good playlist, or some music designed for creative flow or focus (the Calm app has some great ones) and just letting yourself write about what makes you feel fulfilled and inspired.
Even just dedicating 5 mins in the morning before the chaos begins, or in the evening once the kids are finally asleep, to journal and dream is all going to help.
Don’t wait until you have time in your diary, grab these small moments as and when they turn up, instead of waiting until you have an hour to yourself.
Getting OK with your dreams taking longer to achieve
Now, I’m not known for my patience…just ask my husband, well and my kids! So I’ve had to learn to be OK with the dreams and goals that I have taking longer to achieve than I’d like.
Our time is limited as mums, so the space that we have to actually work on our dreams is also limited. But you know, it’s OK for these goals and dreams to take longer to achieve.
It doesn't mean that I'm a failure because I haven't achieved something in the fastest time. It's the opposite - I'm proud of anything that I manage to achieve because I'm doing it all around the edges of mothering.
When things take longer to achieve, I think this is a good thing - it’s an opportunity to enjoy the process too instead of powering down to the end goal.
It also means that you'll be more able to set realistic goals and achieve them, because you can see how long your tasks actually take. Instead of setting unrealistic goals and then feeling like a failure when you don't achieve them.
And in getting towards that goal we are learning all the time - cultivating new skills and honing our resilience to deal with the ups and downs - and this can only be a good thing.
Taking action
Alongside carving out the space to dream and getting OK with your dreams taking longer to achieve, taking action is the only way to make sure that those dreams start to become a reality.
I know how hard it feels to take action on your dreams - I spent years and years not taking any action on my dreams - I felt so frustrated and unfulfilled because of it. It was only when I decided I’d take the leap, jump in before I was ready and just take action, did things really start to change for me.
If you can relate to feeling like this, then I've recorded a free mini coaching session that's going to support you in taking the first step towards feeling more fulfilled and inspired as a mum.
This free mini coaching session is a 5 minute audio and accompanying worksheet, and it’s going to help you:
breathe some positive energy and life into your dreams and goals
help you see why your goal is important to you
work out what is stopping you from taking action
brainstorm ideas of how you could take action
commit to taking action
So grab a pen, download the worksheet and listen to the 5 min audio and get started! (it’s totally free).
(If you do listen to this audio and complete the worksheet, I'd love to hear how you get on - let me know your goal and the action you want to commit to and I’ll provide accountability for you taking the action - just email me on jennafolarin@gmail.com.)
✨ It’s in the dreaming, that’s when you remember who you are.
Thank you so much for reading and I hope this post has helped inspire you to carve out some time, no matter how small, to work on your dreams.
Join me in the comments and let me know:
Have you felt unfulfilled and bored in motherhood?
How easy or hard do you find it to take action on your goals?