This is the kind of way that I want to make changes in my life

It’s a re-learning, over and over again because this way takes time and patience.

This is a trap that I fall into all of the time, let me know if you can relate.

There’s a change that I want to make in my life, or something that I want to do in my business. I start planning it all out and get super excited by ALL of the possibilities.

I actually love the planning stage, maybe a bit too much because the plans are usually slightly totally unrealistic!

I start to follow my carefully thought out plan, and take action. But then, inevitably I can’t keep up the change for long.

I’ve wildly overestimated what I can achieve in my day. I forget that real life is happening too and my planned changes aren’t my only focus in my day. So, the change isn’t made, because I can’t keep it up with everything else I’ve got going on.

I’ve also not allowed myself any kind of room to make mistakes, in my head it’s got to be done perfectly or not at all.

Then, the negative self-talk comes in and those feelings of failure too.

Not a great place to be!

I was reminded of this today when I was planning my social media posts for my podcast launch next week. I made a plan for what I’ll post, but that plan actually felt like too much. It felt like a plan I should do, but not the plan I really wanted to do. And definitely not the plan that I’ve got time to do either.

So, instead of setting myself up for a fall and lots of disappointment, I’m taking my own advice - the advice that I’d give to a mum who I was coaching and was struggling with trying to make any kind of change in her life.

What if:

• I knew it was OK not to change everything at once? - (in fact it’s better if I didn’t)

• I gave myself permission to have bumps in the road and for it not all to work out perfectly the first time I tried?

• I told myself that I’m doing a good job, celebrated my progress and spoke to myself in an encouraging way?

• I wrote down how it felt when I was finding it hard to make changes so I could understand myself better?

• I only had to choose to take the next small step instead of trying to do the whole plan at once?

This is the kind of way that I want to make changes in my life.

This way feels good.

They feel like I’m being kind to myself and cheering myself on - and giving myself half a chance.

I know that when I can approach changes in this way, it actually works too because I’ve done it this way before.

It’s a re-learning, over and over again because this way takes time and patience, which is the opposite of the instant gratification/overnight success narrative that society feeds to us.

So, for now, I’m all about the small steps, celebrating my progress and regularly reflecting on what’s working and what’s not.

If you can relate to this, I hope this gives you a different way to think about making changes and makes it feel easier and more do-able for you too.