What if there was another way?
How journalling helped my overwhelm recently
I feel vulnerable sharing this, but I’d love to see more honesty around what it takes to run your own business, and the behind the scenes, so I feel like it’s important to share it.
Last week, I went to visit a lovely venue to see if it would be the right one for a mini retreat I'm holding in mid September for mums in Cardiff.
I loved the venue and the space was perfect for what I wanted.
But once the kids were in bed, my brain went into overdrive and I felt totally overwhelmed.
Here is a snippet of the kind of thoughts I was having:
What if I don’t sell any tickets?
What if people don't like my coaching or meditations?
What if I forget what to say?
I was stuck firmly in the mindset of, this just isn't going to work.
So, after a while of letting these thoughts swirl around in my head and feeling worse and worse, I decided to journal about how I felt.
(Lately, journalling has been my go-to tool to get some clarity on my thoughts and finding some kind of peace.)
What I journalled on:
I started by writing about how I felt and writing down all of the fear-based thoughts I was having, and all of the things that could go wrong.
Then, I wrote all of the things that could go right, like:
What if the retreat was a total success?
What if I sold out?
What if mums loved it, told me it was exactly what they needed and told their friends too?
What if I sat there in the retreat and thought to myself, this, this is what I love doing.
Seeing those two extremes of the retreat either going really good, or really bad made me see that:
a) if the worst case scenarios did happen, then I’m resilient and I’ll bounce back. It’s still a learning experience for what works and what doesn’t even if it doesn’t go completely to plan.
b) there’s a more plausible option than these two extremes and that’s the grey area. The in-between where some things will go right and some things will go wrong.
My tendency to only think in extremes (i.e. either good or bad, no in-between) is something that rears it’s head when I feel overwhelmed.
Reminding myself that there is another option, the middle, the grey area is so helpful. It’s way better than letting my fear guide me and stop me from trying something different in my business.
High expectations takes the fun away
I think it also comes back to expectations too.
If I’m setting these crazy high expectations of everything has to go perfectly, then that actually takes away the fun of it.
I’m too focused on an outcome, I’ve got my blinkers on and anything that doesn’t match up with my outcome, I’m ignoring it.
It also means that I’m not allowing myself to find joy in the everyday and the unexpected too.
So, taking away that pressure and lowering my expectations is a kinder approach.
Trust and self-belief matters
There’s also something here too about trusting that things will work out as they are supposed, but also about believing in myself and my abilities.
Trusting that I’ll know what to do on the day and I’ll get it done
Trusting that I’ll remember what I need to do at the right time
Trusting my intuition when it tells me what to focus on on the day
Reminding myself of my strengths and experience helps
As I'm writing this, I'm reminding myself of some other things that are helpful for me to write about too:
What are my strengths in this area?
When I have done something similar to this before?
How could I use my strengths and previous experience to help me in this situation?
My background is in running corporate events like all day conferences and I’ve organised my own community events and workshops too.
Reminding myself of my strengths and experience boosts my confidence and makes me feel like, well I’ve run events lots of times before, so I can run this one too. I know what I’m doing.
This puts me in a completely different mindset - one where I realise that I am totally capable.
I can do this!
I’d love to know in the comments if you can relate to this thinking in extremes when you are overwhelmed, or is it just me?!
(Also, if you’d like to know more about the mini retreat for mums in Cardiff on Sat 16th Sept, just write ‘Me, please!’ in the comments and I’ll send you the info.)