A deliberate pause

Embracing January as the month of slowness, rest and reflection

Photo by Yann Allegre on Unsplash

It’s been a little while since I wrote a post - in all honesty I’ve been having all the ideas but none of the clarity. But, in the spirit of January being the month of slowness, rest and reflection, I’ve sat with this discomfort.

Knowing and trusting that the right words will come when they need to, which is now!

So here I am, on a chilly Saturday afternoon, back in my usual writing spot, my son’s bedroom while he gently snores, napping in his bed next to me.

The kids had swimming lessons this morning so it’s a quiet Saturday afternoon for us, especially needed after a sleepless night for all last night (if anyone has any tips of how to help my 9 year old get back to sleep in the middle of the night, please send them my way!!).

Anyway, back to what I wanted to talk about, which is embracing the slowness of January. Maybe a bit late to be sharing this as it’s the 20th Jan as I write this, but better late than never!

A deliberate pause

Towards the end of last year, I had been feeling for a while that I was trying to do too much. I knew I needed to take a break. Back in early December, I wrote a post about realising I was doing too much (weekly posts, my podcast and retreats for mums and only being able to work during my son’s naptime), you can read it here:

I was nervous to publish that post, as it felt in some way that I was admitting out loud that I couldn’t cope or that I was failing somehow - but I had so many comments from mums saying that they totally resonated with what I was saying too, which was lovely. It reminds me of this note from

Lauren Barber

where she talks about the little voices that show up when she posts something that is vulnerable:

So, going back to this deliberate pause in January.

To be honest, had I not read about seasonal living and embracing the seasons from wonderful accounts on here like

Lyndsay Kaldor

Victoria Harrison

&

Elizabeth Hannam

, I probably would be none the wiser and would have approached January like I did any other year.

Instead, I’ve deliberately paused and have pushed back against the ‘new year, new me’ messaging and I’ve done the opposite. I’ve leaned into January as the month of slowness, rest and reflection. What has helped me embrace January like this, is reading these books in seasonal living:

• The Almanac: A Seasonal Guide to 2024 by

  Lia Leendertz

• Slow Seasons: A Creative Guide to Reconnecting with Nature the Celtic Way by

  Everything Looks Rosie

• Sacred Seasons: Nature-inspired rituals, wisdom and self-care for every day of the year by Kirsty Gallagher

Reading these books and learning that January is literally the opposite of the message that society pushes on us of starting afresh and making new year’s resolutions. I wanted to share a few of my favourite quotes from these books that helped me understand how to embrace the seasonal energy of January, and winter in general:

“When it’s cold and miserable outdoors, I love nothing more than making the house as cosy as possible. With candles, blankets and comfy loungewear, it becomes a nest that I have little desire to leave….whatever your winter haven looks like, embrace it a little longer.”

Rosie Steer

“Reflecting compassionately on the past year and quietly planning for what’s to come is a kinder way to start the year. “

Rosie Steer

“Contrary to popular belief, January is not a time for new beginnings - it’s a time for rest, reflecting and imaginings. It’s a time for contemplation and for daring to believe in our wildest dreams.”

Lia Leendertz

“Very little seems to be happening on the outside in Nature, but beneath the earth, vast systems of roots are gathering nutrients, so that there will be enough energy for growth in Spring. And this is when we too should be preparing for the year ahead - not by forcing ourselves out into the world, but by gathering our inner resources and taking rest.”

Kirsty Gallagher

“How much more in flow would we be if we granted ourselves the grace of pausing, retreating and resting in January?”

Kirsty Gallagher

I’ve reminded myself of these quotes often throughout January and I love how they encourage self-compassion - rest is not lazy or unproductive, instead it’s totally necessary and we are following nature’s lead by resting.

What if starting slow also meant starting strong?

When you give yourself the permission to rest and slow down, you will have the energy when Spring comes around and it is the time for new beginnings then. You’ll have this buffer of rest and reflection that will serve as your fuel to move into those new beginnings.

So, if you are feeling the urge to rest and hibernate, instead of putting more pressure on yourself to achieve more when you are already low in energy, let’s take nature’s lead and rest up too.

How I’ve been resting and reflecting in January

Resting

My main way of way of resting over the past few weeks has been reading - here are some of the books I’ve enjoyed:

• Wild Hope - Donna Ashworth

• Just for December - Laura Jane Williams

• The Soulmate Equation - Christina Lauren

• One Night with You - Laura Jane Williams

• The Keeper of Stories - Sally Page

• Sugar Baby - Celine Saintclare

• The Honey-Don’t List - Christina Lauren

(Can you tell that once I’ve read a book by an author I’ve loved, I hunt down any other book by them!)

Currently reading:

• Hermit: A Memoir of Finding Freedom in a Wild Place - Jade Angeles Fitton

• Again, Rachel - Marian Keyes (re-reading this one)

I’ve also stopped using Instagram for now (inspired by this brilliant post from

Kylie-Ann

and I’ve stopped using my phone before bed too. These two things have helped slow down my mind and have helped me wake up slightly less tired too.

I’ve also tried to get up earlier in the mornings to write (a definite work in progress but great when I do - I even managed to write this poem one morning.)

Reflecting

I’ve also started to do some gentle reflection through journal prompts that I've gathered from different books, and I’m going to work through these throughout January.

I’ve also been journalling more and enjoying all of the benefits I feel from that - (I talk about how journalling helps my mental health more in this podcast episode):

I’ve also been looking back through my photos from each month last year, and I'm writing down key moments, how I felt or what I remember about that time. I’ve done this up until May 2023 so far and a few things I’ve written down are:

• how nice to feels to look back at photos and relive happy memories

• how it’s the small things that you remember, that don’t seem ‘enough’ or ‘special’ at the time, but when you look back they feel special - just being together as a family, exploring, it’s enough

• I forget how little my youngest was last year - giving myself a pat on the back for everything I achieved with 3 kids and very little sleep

• Seeing the bond between my 3 kids grow last year was so lovely

Substack posts I’ve loved lately

I’ve read so many amazing posts lately, here are just a few that I’d love to share with you:

• I’ve recently discovered

  Julia
  and her writing is just beautiful - I especially enjoyed this post about the invisible ties between us and those we’ve lost and this one on navigating toxic family dynamics.

• I love the sound of this new Substack from

  Alice Rose
  called ‘The Joy Journal’ - all about joy, self-compassion and personal growth.

• This post from

  Heidi Fiedler
  & Kate from
  Five Books For
  - I love how Kate re-frames creating for short periods of time as a good thing and how creativity will always find us too. Can very much relate to the ‘creating in the margins’ of motherhood too.

• I really enjoyed this ‘Winter with children’ poem from

  Beth Wardell
  and her idea of a winter car picnic too!

• Adored this post from

  Stacey Langford
  on coming home to yourself - it made me think that doing things that bring you joy and make you feel brave and bold are the perfect antidote to the usual hollow new year's resolutions that we think we should make.

Thank you so much for reading - I really appreciate each and every subscriber and every comment, share and re-stack from you.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments:

• How has January been for you?

• How does the idea of slowing down and resting more in January feel to you?

• What Substack posts have you enjoyed lately?