Is consistency realistic?

On being proud of my achievements this year, and at the same time realising it's too much.

Is consistency realistic?

I’m writing this as my two eldest kids are decorating the Christmas tree downstairs with my husband - I delegated that task to them last year - they can crack on and decorate it as they want, as long as I don’t need to do it, I don’t care what it looks like!!

Today I want to talk about consistency, and my lack of it. It’s something that I’ve always struggled with, and now I know more about seasonal energy, feminine energy and working with our menstrual cycles, it makes sense.

We don’t feel the same, or have the same energy levels every day so it’s hard to be consistent, and for me, consistency is just an unrealistic expectation to put on myself. Especially in this phase of my life and my season of mothering as a stay at home mum of three.

Let’s go back to the beginning of this year

Back at the start of this year, my youngest was 7 months old and I knew I wanted to carry on with my coaching business in some way. The only issue was I’m a stay at home mum too, so I didn’t know how that was going to work with no childcare.

All I knew is that I had all of these ideas, a need to be creative and I wanted to support mums.

I also knew that it was something I needed to do for my mental health alongside being a mum - I talk about this more in this post I wrote back in July:

Being creative massively helped my mental health as a mum

I didn’t know how was I going to find the time amongst looking after my kids to really focus on my work.

I also didn’t know if any of my ideas would work.

But if there’s one thing that coaching has taught me over the years, it’s that nothing will happen unless I take action. My mindset has changed over the years from sitting on an idea for years and wishing that I’d done something about it, to now, just trying something and seeing if it works.

I’m happier now to try and fail, to not try and wonder ‘what if’.

Trusting that I know what to say

I think the fact that I haven’t had the time to procrastinate, because the time available to me is literally when my son is napping, has helped me too. I’ve had to rely on my intuition more and my self-belief, instead of planning, planning and then planning some more but not actually take action.

I know that as soon as my son is asleep for his nap, that’s my chance to get work done - whether it’s write a Substack post, record a podcast episode or plan my Mini Retreats. I’ve got to just record the episode and trust that I know what to say, or write the post and trust that the right words will come out at the right time.

What I’ve achieved this year

So since January this year, I’ve:

• launched this Substack in May and posted regularly since then

• launched ‘The Inspiring Mums Podcast’ in June

• ran 2 Mini Retreats for Mums in Sept and Nov

• did some Voxer Coaching with a client

• showed up on Instagram (fairly) regularly

When I write all that down, I feel proud that I’ve actually managed to achieve these things.

Though also seeing it written down in black and white, it makes me realise that it feels like too much.

Or maybe doing this amount of work, worked when my son had more consistent nap-times but as he’s getting older, his routine is changing.

Maybe I’m realising too that my son is 19 months now and actually I haven’t got that long left where its just me and him together. That makes me want to cry writing it!

I want to soak this time up. I want to be present with him. I don’t want to be willing him to go to sleep so I can do some work. I want it to feel more balanced.

Going against the marketing tips

So, to make sure that I’m not reaching overwhelm going forward, I’ve come to accept that I’m just going to do what I can, when I can, in my business and be at peace with that.

I know that goes against every kind of marketing tip out there, that says you must be consistent to build trust.

I totally get that and I’ve tried to do that for a long time, but for me in my stage of mothering, consistency just isn’t realistic for me right now.

I just have to trust that people like what I talk about and stick around.

I know that if I like reading or listening to someone, I never think about how often they post. I’m just happy to read it or listen to them, whenever!

So, my plan going forward is just to post on Substack and record solo episodes of my podcast, as and when I can.

That honestly feels like such a relief to say, because for so long behind the scenes I’ve been trying to juggle it all.

It’s OK to change your mind

It’s liberating too, because I’m choosing to do what works for me right now in this season. I’m deciding that I can do things my way.

I know it will change, as my son gets older and starts nursery, but for now, I’ll be weaving my work around motherhood and taking that pressure off myself.

I think this speaks to something else too, in that it’s OK to change your mind and do something different.

We change. I’m not the same person as I was a year ago.

It doesn’t mean you’ve failed, you are flaky or you cant stick to anything.

It’s just OK to change your mind.

Two posts that inspired me when I was writing this post are:

• this one from

  Zoe Gardiner
  on feeling tired and taking a step back from everything

• this one from

  Laura Pashby
  on writing around the edges of mothering and how that’s changing as her kids get older

Thank you for reading! I hope that this post has helped you feel better if you are also struggling with consistency - take this as your permission slip to do things your way.

I’d love to know in the comments:

• What are you proud of achieving this year?

• What are your feelings around consistency - is it something you struggle with or something that comes naturally to you?

• How do you balance your work around motherhood?