Motherhood and Creativity Interview #1 - Lauren Barber
Lauren is a Mother of two daughters, a Sacred Space Holder, Writer, Speaker, Human Design Guide, Yoga & Meditation Teacher and Creator.
I’m so excited to share my new interview series with you - Motherhood and Creativity - where I’ll be sharing the words of creative mums who inspire me here on Substack and beyond.
They’ll be talking about joy, strength, creativity and community in motherhood.
I feel like when we read the words of mums who speak so honestly about motherhood - the good parts, the hard parts and everything in between - this can really help give us some comfort and feel less alone.
I find so much inspiration from reading about mums who are all weaving their work and creativity around their kids too, as this is the situation I’m currently in. Knowing that there are other mums out there with creative dreams and careers and they are making it work around the edges of motherhood, that is so encouraging.
I hope you enjoy reading the words from these wonderful mums over the next few weeks and months, and that you find comfort and inspiration in their words too.
If you are a mum who’d like to take part in this Motherhood and Creativity interview series - just get in touch, I’d love to hear from you!
Motherhood and Creativity Interview #1
Lauren Barber
Lauren is a Sacred Business Mentor, Heart Centred Coach and Soulful Branding & Website Designer. She works in the realms of Motherhood and Holistic Business to support others in bringing their creative visions to life.
A Mother of two daughters, a Sacred Space Holder, Writer, Speaker, Human Design Guide, Yoga & Meditation Teacher and Creator - Lauren is a true multi-passionate human.
How old are your kids?
Currently 14 months and 4.5 years old.
When your children are older, what do you hope that they remember about the kind of mum that you were?
Ooooh what a question to contemplate.
Above all I truly hope they remember me as a loving Mother, someone who made them feel held and loved and safe. I worry sometimes when I lose my temper or feel exasperated at the end of a day that they might remember me for those moments - but I have to keep hope that they feel the love even in those times.
I also hope that they remember me as a creative Mother, someone who followed her passions and and showed them how they could also do the same as well as being someone who was a living example to them of what it is to be a messy, imperfect human and enable them to give themselves permission to be the same. I pray that they can bring self compassion to their humanness because of this.
When you think about the tough parts of your motherhood journey, which of your qualities/strengths have got you through these tough times?
I can see now that the decade of meditation and yoga practices I embarked on leading up to becoming a Mother have helped me learn how to support and understand the nervous system and emotional regulation, which is probably the most important skill to learn in Motherhood.
I also think probably my stubbornness has converted to an inner resilience that means I have been able to stand my ground even when things have been stormy... and help me stay the course during moments when I would have really liked to run away!
What brings you joy in motherhood?
This is such a lovely question because so often my focus goes to what is hard!
My children's laughter and smiles are like medicine to me, and now that my youngest is growing into a toddler watching them play and interact together is so beautiful and joyful.
I love watching them see the wonder in the world, particularly when we are out in nature together, or in a new experience - but I also love the rituals we have started creating as a family.
How important is creativity to you?
It is food to my soul. I feel starved without it.
Tell us more about your favourite ways to be creative.
Writing and Cooking are two of my favourite ways to be creative - although I have to admit that Cooking is not quite such an outlet for me in this season of my life as it has become quite exhausting feeding two tiny beings that will often throw my creations on the floor!
In this current season of life, my writing has become my most treasured creative outlet - but also my work as a website and branding designer is hugely nourishing to me. I get so much out of creating alongside other incredible beings with visions and dreams in the world. Being able to support them in bringing them to life is so fulfilling to me.
I try and weave creativity into as many micro moments as possible in my life. Through my clothes, makeup, the way I make the girls' breakfast (and my own), creating little spaces in my home, taking photos on my phone, creating shapes with my body that bring some kind of ease and spaciousness - even if it is just for a few minutes, it all adds up and accumulates!
Since becoming a mum, have you experienced a creative surge? What did that look like for you?
I think I have always been someone with lots of creative urges and impulses - but I would say that becoming a Mother has unveiled a level of need to express certain things - particularly through writing - and it has given me a focus on the things that are truly important for me to focus my energy on.
It has of course become one of my biggest sources of growth and expansion and therefore given me the chance to have so much inspiration to write about.
I think that the creativity has always been there, but becoming a Mother allowed me to birth the version of me that has a lot more confidence in that creativity, and a lot less concern over what others think about my version of creativity.
What does honouring your creativity look like for you in this season of your mothering?
It looks like asking for the time I need to write and giving myself permission to write just purely for writings sake. It looks like writing on my laptop during my littlest's naps, while my elder one watches a film, and not feeling guilty for that.
It looks like grabbing crayons and a colouring book for my elder daughter to create with next to me while I write. It looks like making flowers out of nuts and seeds on their porridge in the morning.
It looks like paid childcare to honour my creative work. It looks like creating on a Saturday and squeezing in writing around the edges of Mothering.
It looks like being super discerning with my boundaries and saying no to anything that doesn't light me up and feed my creative desires.
It looks messy and chaotic - but if I don't honour it then I am not the Mother I want to be.
What’s been your experience of finding a community in motherhood?
My community of in-person Mothers is a lot smaller than my online community.
To be honest the reason I started writing on Substack was to help me find connection with other Mothers who aligned with me. I have some beautiful friends locally that I lean on a lot, but if I am honest I still experience a lot of physical loneliness.
It is a work in progress shall we say, it takes courage to open up to new friendships but when I have it has been so rewarding and soothing.
What words of encouragement would you offer to a mum who might be struggling at the moment?
Gosh - as much as I hate the phrase at times - I have never leaned on the words 'this shall pass' as much as I have over the last four and a half years.
But also I would love to just give every single Mother a big hug, cook her a bowl of soup and tell her how amazing she is doing. To tell her that it is OK if she is grieving past versions of herself and finding this incredibly hard, that all her feelings are valid and that she is not lost... she is becoming.
Every phase for our children brings a new phase for us - whether they are 3 months old or 13 years old - and we have to hold them through those transitions and ourselves. It is a dance and one that needs a lot of gentleness and compassion.
You can find out more about Lauren here:
Thank you so much for your wonderful words Lauren - there is so much I love here, especially how:
you feel that your stubbornness has converted to an inner resilience as a mum
showing up as a messy imperfect human will give your kids the permission to do the same
you weave creativity into micro moments in your day
becoming a Mother has allowed you to be more confident in your creativity and worry less about what others think about your version of creativity
And finally, the advice you would give to another mum who is struggling:
“But also I would love to just give every single Mother a big hug, cook her a bowl of soup and tell her how amazing she is doing. To tell her that it is OK if she is grieving past versions of herself and finding this incredibly hard, that all her feelings are valid and that she is not lost... she is becoming.”
I wonder how different we would feel as mums, if we were met with compassion, comfort and a bit of cheerleading thrown in there too.
If we were told that all of our feelings were valid and we are not lost, we are becoming.
This kind of approach has the potential to completely change our motherhood experience.
In the absence of being able to find that approach, I wonder if we can meet ourselves at this place, and reflect that kindness, comfort and encouragement back to ourselves?
If you are a mum who’d like to take part in this Motherhood and Creativity interview series - just get in touch, I’d love to hear from you!
I hope you enjoyed this first interview in the ‘Motherhood and Creativity’ interview series - I’ll be publishing these interviews every fortnight for as long as the interviews keep coming through.
I’d love to hear from you in the comments:
Which of Lauren’s words resonated with you?
How can you meet yourself with more kindness, comfort and encouragement?
I love that cooking is a creative outlet for you Lauren! I never think of it this way, but it totally is. I love that you honour how important creative expression is to you and make the time for it, including by getting childcare. It is SO important and healthy I think xxx
Ahhh I absolutely loved reading this Jenna and Lauren, it felt like the gift of a big warm hug! I absolutely resonated with what you said about creativity always being there but motherhood unleashing your voice, confidence and conviction, as well as plenty of inspiration…! I also love your encouragement for mothers, being seen, nurtured and being told that we are doing a great job really means so much xx