Motherhood & Creativity Interview #25 - Ashleigh Houlton
In a previous universe, Ashleigh was a magazine beauty features editor and brand copywriter. In this one, Ashleigh is making sense of her new sphere of life as a mum through a series of personal essay
If you are new here, welcome! I’m so happy to have you here as part of this lovely, supportive community of mums. I’m Jenna, a mum of 3, a Coach for Mums and I live by the sea in South Wales.
Here on The Motherhood Connection, I love writing about:
ways to ease your overwhelm and cultivate self-compassion as a mum
tips on how to take imperfect action and live a life that feels good to you
the small moments of family life that bring me joy
honest reflections on motherhood
Every fortnight, I also publish a Motherhood and Creativity interview, where I share the words of creative mums who inspire me here on Substack and beyond. They share their words of joy, strength, creativity and community in motherhood and there’s so much wisdom in every interview.
I’d love for you to be part of The Motherhood Connection community, all you need to do is subscribe below and you’ll receive my weekly (ish) posts.
Welcome to Motherhood and Creativity, an interview series where I share the words of creative mums who inspire me here on Substack and beyond.
I share words of joy, strength, creativity and community in motherhood.
I feel like when we read the words of mums who speak so honestly about motherhood - the good parts, the hard parts and everything in between - this can really help give us some comfort and feel less alone.
I find so much inspiration from reading about mums who are all weaving their work and creativity around their kids too, as this is the situation I’m currently in. Knowing that there are other mums out there with creative dreams and careers and they are making it work around the edges of motherhood, that is so encouraging.
I hope you enjoy reading the words from these wonderful mums, and that you find comfort and inspiration in their words too.
You can read all 24 of the previous Motherhood and Creativity interviews here.
Motherhood and Creativity Interview #25 - Ashleigh Houlton
In a previous universe, Ashleigh was a magazine beauty features editor and brand copywriter. In this one, Ashleigh is making sense of her new sphere of life as a mum through a series of personal essays and poetry. You’ll find Ashleigh on Substack and Instagram as MotherVerse, where she tackles taboo topics such as birth trauma, PTSD and parenting with chronic illnesses.
How old are your kids?
My son is 4.
When your children are older, what do you hope that they remember about the kind of mum that you were?
We’re all human and we don’t always get it right, but I truly hope that he remembers me as a mum that did the best that I could do for him in that moment.
I hope he always feels that I gave him my time, unconditional love and protection, as well as the freedom to be who he wants to be – and with that, learning to respect and embrace everybody else’s differences.
When you think about the tough parts of your motherhood journey, which of your qualities/strengths have got you through these tough times?
Life threw us an endless slew of curveballs from the moment I decided to try and conceive: an adenomyosis diagnosis, COVID-19 at 38 weeks pregnant, a long, traumatic birth, chronic illness struggles, my son’s cow’s milk protein allergy and severe silent reflux, which saw me unravel.
I had many dark, hopeless periods, but they would often be followed by a methodical approach. I was hell-bent on getting better and relentless in researching and seeking the support that I knew my son and I deserved.
Although sometimes a hindrance, my perfectionist traits and unwavering devotion to this little human we’d created gave me the strength to keep moving towards the light.
Gradually, I managed to stitch myself back up, thread by thread.
What brings you joy in motherhood?
Watching his personality come alive – his cheekiness, sensitivity and eagerness to learn.
I love that we have a shared need for creativity in our lives and for him, he explores it through music and movement, books and imaginative play. It’s magical to see.
How important is creativity to you?
It’s part of who I am and how I express myself. There’s been times where I’ve felt anything but creative, yet it always weaves itself back into my world.
Tell us more about your favourite ways to be creative.
Words in any shape or form: reading them, writing them or listening to them. And not just for me, but for my son too.
On the days where there’s little time to create myself, I remember that simply reading him a book is an act of creation, sparking the imaginations of both child and adult.
I knew I was unearthing my creative self again when I started to feel a deep appreciation for – and inspired by – the craft of storytelling.
Since becoming a mum, have you experienced a creative surge? What did that look like for you?
During those first 12–18 months, I never thought I’d write again; the trauma had stripped me of my desire for creativity.
When I started cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), I was encouraged by the psychiatrist to journal. I remembered how therapeutic it felt, like a healing balm and slowly, but surely, I fell back in love with the arts.
After months of penning my thoughts in secret, I knew I needed a shared space to talk about my lived experience, to make sense of it all – and I hoped that mothers facing their own struggles would find solace in reading it, just as I had in others’ stories.
So my Substack,
, was born.What does honouring your creativity look like for you in this season of your mothering?
Snatching moments throughout the day to jot down ideas and content for my Substack – the Notes app on my phone is inundated with entries!
I watch the words grow into sentences and the paragraphs into stories, sometimes slowly, and sometimes quickly, sometimes with ease and sometimes with difficulty.
Navigating writing around mothering and medical appointments is a learning curve after being in a fast-paced, deadline-driven, corporate office environment.
What’s been your experience of finding a community in motherhood?
As I had my son during the tail end of lockdown, we pretty much spent the first few months in isolation, petrified of catching COVID again.
I then dealt with undiagnosed PTSD, leaving me withdrawn and barely able to leave the house.
Short bursts of time socialising here and there was all that was manageable for me for much of that first year. I don’t think I’ve ever felt lonelier, or more invisible, than I did in early motherhood.
When I was finally able to access the care I needed for my mental and physical health, I reconnected with friends who had children and took my son to groups, where I could chat to other mums.
Creating
also led me to a network of online mothers opening up about the stark reality, the ambivalence, in order to shatter the archaic stigmas still surrounding motherhood.I felt drawn to play a part in this movement too; it brought with it a sense of belonging at last.
What words of encouragement would you offer to a mum who might be struggling at the moment?
Give yourself the time, grace and compassion to find your feet and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Our patriarchal society might have you believe otherwise, but the process of becoming a mother, (also known as matrescence), is a monumental emotional, psychological and physical one – so much so that it’s finally been recognised in the dictionary.
If you haven’t heard of the term, read about it and you’ll realise that you’re far from alone in having these complex thoughts and feelings.
Let’s normalise how hard this transition can be. We’re all on this wild journey together.
You can find out more about
here:Substack:
Instagram: @thisismotherverse
Thank you Ashleigh for being part of the Motherhood and Creativity interview series.
I loved reading this interview and enjoyed these parts especially:
these words on what Ashleigh hopes her son remembers about the kind of mum she was:
“We’re all human and we don’t always get it right, but I truly hope that he remembers me as a mum that did the best that I could do for him in that moment.”
I think this is such a great reminder that actually, that’s all we can do isn’t it - do the best in that moment. And that’s enough. Doing the best in that moment will look different for us each time, because every day is different and that’s OK. If we are aiming for doing the best in that moment, knowing everything else we had going on at that time too, or on that day, and accepting that, it’s a far kinder way to be with ourselves than aiming for unrealistic expectations and beating ourselves up when we inevitably don’t achieve them.
how despite going through so many tough moments in her motherhood journey, Ashleigh’s inner strength of wanting to get her and her son better shone through:
“I had many dark, hopeless periods, but they would often be followed by a methodical approach. I was hell-bent on getting better and relentless in researching and seeking the support that I knew my son and I deserved.”
how even when we think creativity is gone, it is right there, whispering to us to create again and it’s ready for us to dive back in or dip our toes in, depending on how we feel:
“There’s been times where I’ve felt anything but creative, yet it always weaves itself back into my world.”
I love how Ashleigh points out that reading books to your kids is a creative act too:
“On the days where there’s little time to create myself, I remember that simply reading him a book is an act of creation, sparking the imaginations of both child and adult.”
how Ashleigh’s creative surge initially came back when she started journalling again after starting CBT, and how healing she found it. Then having the confidence to share her stories to connect with other mums through her Substack
:“After months of penning my thoughts in secret, I knew I needed a shared space to talk about my lived experience, to make sense of it all – and I hoped that mothers facing their own struggles would find solace in reading it, just as I had in others’ stories.”
I think there is so much power in sharing our stories as mums, and although everyone’s experience is so different, we can find commonalities in each other’s stories which makes us feel less alone.
how Ashleigh honours her creativity in this season of motherhood by “…snatching moments throughout the day to jot down ideas and content for my Substack – the Notes app on my phone is inundated with entries!”
how creating her Substack
has been part of Ashleigh finding a community in motherhood which also led Ashleigh to “…a network of online mothers opening up about the stark reality, the ambivalence, in order to shatter the archaic stigmas still surrounding motherhood.” I’m here for this Ashleigh! Shattering the archaic stigmas by sharing our own stories is so powerful.
I hope you enjoyed this interview in the ‘Motherhood and Creativity’ series - these interviews will continue fortnightly until April 2025.
You can read all 24 of the previous Motherhood and Creativity interviews here.
I’d love to hear which of Ashleigh’s words resonated with you - let me know in the comments.
I’d love to hear your feedback…
I’d be so grateful if you took 5 minutes to complete my feedback survey all about my Substack posts and coaching offers.
Your answers will help me to shape my work going forward to make sure that I'm writing posts and creating offers that you'll find helpful - thank you so much!
Work with Jenna in 2025
If you’d like to start 2025 by setting feel-good goals, taking small (totally do-able) steps, that create long-lasting change then just think of me as your personal cheerleader who is going to support you in making those changes!
I’ll boost your confidence by reminding you of your strengths, of all the times when you’ve done hard things before and how amazing you already are - let’s get started and make incredible things happen for you!!
I’ve got space for 2 mums to work with me in my Rediscover YOU 12 week one to one coaching experience, and also space for 2 mums to work with me to create their very own 12 week Bespoke Self Care Plan - you can find all the details for both of these here or book a 30 min chat with me to find out more:
You might also like some of my most recent posts/podcast episodes:
PODCAST: Ease into 2025 gently: Reflect and Dream - This podcast episode is going to help you to start to make slow and gentle changes in your life in 2025.
Permission to do motherhood your way - when the advice doesn’t work, this is what to do instead
PODCAST: Redefining failure and creativity for mums - after a over a year, I’m back with a new podcast episode!
If you'd like to support this free newsletter, here are a few ways:
👍 Comment and like this post here on Substack
☕ Consider buying me a coffee
📲 Restack your favourite part and share it as a Note on Substack
📧 Forward this email to a friend
📸 Come and say hi over on Instagram - @jennafolarin
 | A guest post by
|
Jenna, I am loving these mama and creativity interviews! Please consider me if you need any more before your April 2025 series end date!