Motherhood and Creativity Interview #19 - Zofia K-Stanley

Zofia is a mother, doctor, and writer who lives in New Zealand. Zofia is working on a memoir about her experience of medical training and working as a pregnant doctor.

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Dec 08, 2024

If you are new here, welcome! I’m so happy to have you here as part of this lovely, supportive community of mums. I’m Jenna, a mum of 3, a Coach for Mums and I live by the sea in South Wales.

Here on The Motherhood Connection, I love writing about:

ways to ease your overwhelm and cultivate self-compassion as a mum
tips on how to take imperfect action and live a life that feels good to you
the small moments of family life that bring me joy
honest reflections on motherhood

Every fortnight, I also publish a Motherhood and Creativity interview, where I share the words of creative mums who inspire me here on Substack and beyond. They share their words of joy, strength, creativity and community in motherhood and there’s so much wisdom in every interview.

I’d love for you to be part of The Motherhood Connection community, all you need to do is subscribe below and you’ll receive my weekly (ish) posts.

Welcome to Motherhood and Creativity, an interview series where I share the words of creative mums who inspire me here on Substack and beyond.

I share words of joy, strength, creativity and community in motherhood.

I feel like when we read the words of mums who speak so honestly about motherhood - the good parts, the hard parts and everything in between - this can really help give us some comfort and feel less alone.

I find so much inspiration from reading about mums who are all weaving their work and creativity around their kids too, as this is the situation I’m currently in. Knowing that there are other mums out there with creative dreams and careers and they are making it work around the edges of motherhood, that is so encouraging.

I hope you enjoy reading the words from these wonderful mums over the next few months, and that you find comfort and inspiration in their words too.

You can read all 18 of the previous Motherhood and Creativity interviews here.

Motherhood and Creativity Interview #19 - Zofia K-Stanley

Zofia is a mother, doctor, and writer, who lives in New Zealand and is always happiest outdoors. Zofia is working on a memoir about her experience of medical training and working as a pregnant doctor.

Over on Substack, Hospital and Home, Zofia posts short reflections, a couple of times per month, on the struggles and joys of this current season of life.

Zofia uses her Instagram to compliment this: you might find a short video or photos of a moment that Zofia has written about in one of her posts.

How old are your kids?

21 months old

When your children are older, what do you hope that they remember about the kind of mum that you were?

I want them to remember how much I loved them, most of all.

I would love it if they could see how hard I tried to be both mother and person, with my own identity, career, and dreams, despite the difficult choices that entailed.

When you think about the tough parts of your motherhood journey, which of your qualities/strengths have got you through these tough times?

I think I have a really core belief that I will do whatever is necessary to get us through. At times I have had to revert to that strength and the knowledge that it is there is comforting.

But on a more day-to-day basis, I think my ability to see lightness, beauty, and joy, in the mundane, is a quality I am so grateful I possess.

Moments of joy as a mother get me through the tough times at work, moments of fulfilment at work get me through tougher times as a mother, and creating space for tiny moments alone by myself fuels my bigger dreams and desires, helps me reconnect with what I care about, helps me re-centre when everything is hard, and helps me be the best mother I can be.

What brings you joy in motherhood?

So many things.

To pick just one right now: language. I was a bilingual child, an arts student and linguist before I turned to medicine, and I have always adored playing with language and words, it's part of what I love about writing.

So I am loving every moment of it developing in my son, along with his half Kiwi half displaced UK pronunciation, and I adore having conversations with him, and what they reveal about everything that has been going on in his mind.

How important is creativity to you?

Hugely important.

Tell us more about your favourite ways to be creative.

Writing, probably first and foremost.

But I have always loved playing with film, and when I used to have time - a lifetime ago - I enjoyed drawing and painting.

Since becoming a mum, have you experienced a creative surge? What did that look like for you?

Yes! And this is so important for me to share, because one of my greatest fears during pregnancy was that I would lose touch with my creativity, which is such a huge part of my identity.

In fact it has been the opposite: being on maternity leave opened up so much actual and emotional space for me compared to my baseline (long training hours as a doctor), and I had a huge creative surge that has only continued despite returning to work when my son was ten months-old.

The difficulty during the days of maternity leave was that I had no actual time to write - my son has always been a terrible sleeper, both day and night, so I learnt to write in snatches, single finger typing, in the notes app of my phone.

Although he is older now and less physically dependent on me, my return to work has devoured any time that freed up.

What does honouring your creativity look like for you in this season of your mothering?

Finding creativity in the day-to-day.

Making a new meal with leftovers in the fridge, creating a collage of my son's daycare artwork amid photos, postcards, paintings on our walls. Putting together outfits for my son and myself. Making up stories, reading books, singing songs. Drawing attention to the human moments and the greater picture when I present my patients' stories to my colleagues as part of my role at work.

Increasingly: playing with Instagram, which I used to snobbily avoid, but where I am currently seeking to build a community of like-minded working mothers and creatives.

I can create tiny videos and curate a pleasing aesthetic in bite sized moments, which right now is the only time I have, and it serves as a kind of place-holder and inspiration-board for the bigger dreams that I am working towards in tiny daily steps.

What’s been your experience of finding a community in motherhood?

Honestly, I've struggled, and I'm still looking for it.

What words of encouragement would you offer to a mum who might be struggling at the moment?

I see you.

This is the hardest thing I've ever done.

No matter how isolated you feel, and even if you don't have a community to hold you, if you don't have people there for you physically proximally present to help, there are many many people out there who can and want to help with tiny facets in tiny ways, whether with mothering, or with helping you stay in touch with your own creativity and sense of self - look for them, draw upon them.

You can find out more about

Zofia K-Stanley

here:

Substack - Hospital and Home
Instagram - @zks_mother.doctor.writer

Thank you Zofia for being part of the Motherhood and Creativity interview series.

I loved reading this interview and these parts resonated with me especially:

how Zofia describes having her own identity outside of motherhood being something that she hopes her kids remember about the type of mum she was:
“I would love it if they could see how hard I tried to be both mother and person, with my own identity, career, and dreams, despite the difficult choices that entailed.”
the way that Zofia describes how her ability to "see lightness, beauty, and joy, in the mundane” is a quality that she’s grateful she has:
“Moments of joy as a mother get me through the tough times at work, moments of fulfilment at work get me through tougher times as a mother, and creating space for tiny moments alone by myself fuels my bigger dreams and desires, helps me reconnect with what I care about, helps me re-centre when everything is hard, and helps me be the best mother I can be.”
these words from Zofia were very similar to my experience with my youngest when she describes the creative surge she had after having her son, yet not having the time she’d like to write and only being able to write in short bursts in the notes app of her phone:
“The difficulty during the days of maternity leave was that I had no actual time to write - my son has always been a terrible sleeper, both day and night, so I learnt to write in snatches, single finger typing, in the notes app of my phone.”
how finding creativity in the day to day is how Zofia is honouring her creativity in this season of motherhood - I feel like just realising the different ways that you are already creative in your everyday life, things you do without even realising, can help you be even more creative and that feels different to just going through the motions every day.
the lovely encouraging words that Zofia shares to mums who are having a tough time - when she talks about seeking out the people that can help you whether it’s practical help as a mum, or help with connecting to your sense of self and creativity. I think it’s so important that we are encouraged to seek help and support as mums, in whatever way we need at that time.

I hope you enjoyed this interview in the ‘Motherhood and Creativity’ series - I publish these interviews every fortnight, and will continue to for as long as the interviews keep coming through.

You can read all 18 of the previous Motherhood and Creativity interviews here.

I’d love to hear which of Zofia’s words resonated with you - let me know in the comments.

Ways to work with me in December

In December, I have space for 2 mums to work with me on their Bespoke Self-Care Plan.

The Bespoke Self-Care Plan will support you to swap overwhelm, mum-guilt and anger for calm and compassion by building up tiny moments of daily self-care over 12 weeks.

It’ll change the way that you see and practice self-care forever by using a combination of:

a comprehensive 12 week bespoke self-care plan designed especially for you (jam packed with over 75 self-care ideas)
twice weekly Whatsapp accountability from me as a Coach for Mums, for extra motivation and encouragement
plus a bonus especially for you – the 14 Days of Journalling Prompts for Mums E-Book

Find out more about the Bespoke Self-Care Plan

I also have space for 1 mum to work with me in my 12 week one to one coaching experience - Rediscover YOU.

Rediscover YOU is a 12 week one to one coaching experience that will support you in making positive changes in your life in a gentle and kind way, that fits in with your life as a busy mum right now.

Over 12 weeks, there’ll be:

6 x one hour coaching calls with me
personalised mindfulness meditations
as well as a 12 week bespoke self-care plan that complements the coaching

I’ll show you how you can work out what’s important to you now in your current season of motherhood and how you can make positive changes in your life in line with these priorities, in a totally do-able way as a busy mum!

If you’d like to find out more, let’s have a chat and a cuppa about how I can best support you.

The Motherhood Connection

Motherhood and Creativity Interview #19 - Zofia K-Stanley

Zofia is a mother, doctor, and writer who lives in New Zealand. Zofia is working on a memoir about her experience of medical training and working as a pregnant doctor.

Motherhood and Creativity Interview #19 - Zofia K-Stanley

Ways to work with me in December

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