Motherhood and Creativity Interview #3 - Kylie-Ann Homer

Kylie-Ann is a reluctant stay at home mum, graphic designer and writer of Substack 'Distracted', where she shares her honest experiences of life through the lens of motherhood.

Motherhood and Creativity Interview #3 - Kylie-Ann Homer

Welcome to Motherhood and Creativity, an interview series where I share the words of creative mums who inspire me here on Substack and beyond.

I’ll be sharing words of joy, strength, creativity and community in motherhood.

I feel like when we read the words of mums who speak so honestly about motherhood - the good parts, the hard parts and everything in between - this can really help give us some comfort and feel less alone.

I find so much inspiration from reading about mums who are all weaving their work and creativity around their kids too, as this is the situation I’m currently in. Knowing that there are other mums out there with creative dreams and careers and they are making it work around the edges of motherhood, that is so encouraging.

I hope you enjoy reading the words from these wonderful mums over the next few weeks and months, and that you find comfort and inspiration in their words too.

You can read the rest of the Motherhood and Creativity interview series here:

Motherhood and Creativity Interview #1 with

Lauren Barber

Motherhood and Creativity Interview #2 with Emma Benyon

If you are a mum who’d like to take part in this Motherhood and Creativity interview series - just email me on jennafolarin@gmail.com, I’d love to hear from you!

Motherhood and Creativity Interview #3

Kylie-Ann Homer

Kylie-Ann

is a reluctant stay at home mum, graphic designer and writer of Substack

Distracted

, where she shares her honest experiences of life through the lens of motherhood.

How old are your kids?

4 and 2

When your children are older, what do you hope that they remember about the kind of mum that you were?

I often hope they will remember me as a fun and carefree mum, who they enjoyed spending time with.

I am not this mother 99% of the time at the moment, but I hope this will change or at least they will become easier, to ease my anxieties and lower my stress levels.

I am likely being overambitious with carefree and fun, but I will settle for children who remember me fondly, because that's all any of us want isn't it?

When you think about the tough parts of your motherhood journey, which of your qualities/strengths have got you through these tough times?

I think I am a very organised and driven person and these are strengths which probably mean make carrying the mental load of the household a bit easier, or manageable.

It probably also means I am good at hiding when I am overwhelmed.

There are lists and routines I follow, but like dominoes it could all fall one week if for example, one person is ill, or a major appliance breaks down and it does, but somehow we always get back on track.

What brings you joy in motherhood?

My favourite moments are when I have a cup of tea and maybe I am talking to a friend or something, but my children are playing together nicely - without me.

This is such a rare occurrence that at the moment when it does happen I am a little on edge but I'm sure it will become more frequent.

I love that they can be independent from me and it brings me so much joy when they show love towards each other and they aren't biting and hitting one another.

It is in these moments I think I might actually be doing something right.

How important is creativity to you?

Creativity is my career, it is also my hobby - it is everything to me.

Tell us more about your favourite ways to be creative.

I am a graphic designer - I work in branding and packaging so for work I do logo design, illustration, typography, photography direction and pick colours.

I also love to draw and paint, although I don't do these nearly as much as I would like to.

Writing has been my creative hobby of choice more recently. Since just before my first son was born, I decided I would try to write a novel - which of course I am STILL working on six years later.

Writing for me has developed into all sorts of little projects -

Distracted

- my Substack, short stories, book reviews, creative non-fiction - as well as adding to my "work in progress" I call it (a novel makes it feel too serious).

Writing has become my respite since becoming a mother and I feel like I need to write in some form, I need to be creative - or else I don't function very well.

Since becoming a mum, have you experienced a creative surge? What did that look like for you?

Yes I absolutely did experience a creative surge.

I don't know if it was the intense boredom that comes with having a small baby (and also a global lockdown) or if it was the hormones or even this crazy new thing that had happened to me that needed to be talked about - yes I felt that creative surge and in many ways I am still riding it.

What does honouring your creativity look like for you in this season of your mothering?

My creativity is honoured in a couple of ways. I think I am finding that it is important for me to work - for me to have a design project on the go, whether this is paid or not. That side of me needs to be satisfied for my sense of self to be complete. I have one day of childcare in which I can work, so there is always some time for that.

Since starting my Substack, I have established a bit of a writing routine and more recently journalling, which I find helps me to gather my thoughts and process them, as well as collate them into something readable to share with a community on a regular basis.

I try to write something - to show up - once a week. I write in the evenings or on a work day when I don't have anything else booked in. It used to be nap times but in our house those days are numbered. It doesn't matter when or how, as long as I find time once a week.

If I don't write - if I don't honour my creativity, I feel it eating away at me, a job unfinished or a moment not taken - I can feel it in my body as if I haven't had enough water, or enough nutritional food and I am noticing more and more how important it is to find time for creativity even if it seems impossible - because it is those busy weeks when I know I need it most.

What’s been your experience of finding a community in motherhood?

I have found making mum friends to be very challenging. As I mentioned my first baby was a pandemic baby so I spent most of my first maternity leave inside the same room with only him for company whilst my partner worked upstairs.

I haven't got loads of friends my age, or mum friends in fact but I have found community where I live by going to mostly church/volunteer run toddler groups, where I have met many people I would like to call friends.

It isn't the community I was expecting - the NCT group that everyone talks about where I imagined meeting in the pub or at art galleries - that didn't workout for us, but I have found people who are there to support me at these groups and I am so grateful to them for being there.

Of course, I have also found my

Distracted

community on Substack to be hugely supportive and I have been uplifted by people's encouragement and comments in response to my post on many occasions. It has been a lifeline, actually.

What words of encouragement would you offer to a mum who might be struggling at the moment?

You are not alone. Much of the relief I have felt is in knowing that I am not the only one who feels this way or is struggling in this moment, and that I can seek support from others should I need to - my aim with

Distracted

is to share honestly, to help others feel like they aren't alone too.

You can find out more about

Kylie-Ann

on her Substack,

Distracted

Thank you so much for your wonderful words Kylie-Ann - I loved reading about the importance of creativity in your life, and how it’s essential for you to make time to be creative, so that you feel like your whole self.

I found it so interesting when Kylie-Ann said that being organised makes carrying the mental load more manageable but it also means that she’s good at hiding when you are overwhelmed. I think this is true for so many mums - we are so good at juggling it all, mainly because we have to, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t find it overwhelming and need help.

I can feel how important creativity and writing is to Kylie-Ann as well - when she says:

“If I don't write - if I don't honour my creativity, I feel it eating away at me, a job unfinished or a moment not taken - I can feel it in my body as if I haven't had enough water, or enough nutritional food.”

I really think that honouring our creativity as mums, helps us with so many of the tough parts of motherhood. If we know we’ve got our own project to go back to, that helps us express ourselves, that mentally stimulates us - then that is something that we can look forward to, something that we can focus on and something we can lose ourselves in, outside of our role as a mum.

Finally, Kylie-Ann’s advice for a mum who might be struggling:

“You are not alone. Much of the relief I have felt is in knowing that I am not the only one who feels this way or is struggling in this moment, and that I can seek support from others should I need to.”

Knowing that we aren’t alone in our struggles and maybe we are finding it hard because it hard, can really help us feel better in the moment. It takes away that self-blame and criticism and brings in more compassion into the mix.

If you are a mum who’d like to take part in this Motherhood and Creativity interview series - just email me on jennafolarin@gmail.com, I’d love to hear from you!

I hope you enjoyed this interview in the ‘Motherhood and Creativity’ interview series - I’ll be publishing these interviews every fortnight for as long as the interviews keep coming through.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments:

• Which of Kylie-Ann’s words resonated with you?

• When you have time to be creative as a mum, how does it make you feel?