A way out of the messy middle

January energy, finding inspiration, being intentional plus a quick favour to ask

If you are new here, welcome! I’m so happy to have you here as part of this lovely, supportive community of mums. I’m Jenna, a mum of 3, a Coach for Mums and I live by the sea in South Wales.

Here on The Motherhood Connection, I love writing about:

• ways to ease your overwhelm and cultivate self-compassion as a mum

• tips on how to take imperfect action and live a life that feels good to you

• the small moments of family life that bring me joy

• honest reflections on motherhood

Every fortnight, I also publish a Motherhood and Creativity interview, where I share the words of creative mums who inspire me here on Substack and beyond. They share their words of joy, strength, creativity and community in motherhood and there’s so much wisdom in every interview.

I’d love for you to be part of The Motherhood Connection community, all you need to do is subscribe below and you’ll receive my weekly (ish) posts.

A quick favour to ask first…

I'm looking ahead to the rest of 2025 and I’d love to get your thoughts and feedback in this feedback survey on my Substack posts and coaching offers. Your answers will help me to shape my work going forward to make sure that I'm writing posts and creating offers that you'll find helpful.

This survey is completely anonymous, so feel free to write honestly too. I've kept the survey short, so hopefully it won't take longer than 5 minutes to complete.

Thank you so much for taking the time out to share your thoughts with me, I really appreciate it!

How has January been for you?

Have you been embracing the slow and reflective seasonal energy of January or has this month felt really hard for you with the cold weather and dark mornings and evenings?

Last year, I was more able to embrace the slower seasonal winter energy, (which I wrote about here), but this year, not so much. I think it’s because we’ve all been a bit under the weather throughout this month, and to say my youngest’s sleep has taken a turn for the worse would be an understatement!

I’m also anticipating lots of change this year as my kids get older and move onto new stages in their lives and I’m kind of grappling with that at the moment. I feel like motherhood is a constant state of letting go, acceptance and learning anew. All of the time. And there’s no time to reflect or catch up on how that feels for you or what it means.

So, 2025 so far kind of has this fleeting, temporary feeling and it’s making me feel uprooted.

A foggy winter walk last week, where the lake and the sky merged into one

Stopping myself before I start

For the whole of January, I’ve had a lot of ideas but they’ve all felt quite disconnected, overwhelming and I haven’t known what to do with them really.

I’ve also been:

• very self-critical

• asking myself ‘why does this feel so hard?’

• consuming too much and not creating

• overwhelmed with comparison

• telling myself that people aren't going to like what I write or what I do

I mean with all of these thoughts going around in my head, it's no wonder that I'm finding it hard to create!

I’m stopping myself before I start.

Maybe its not just me who feels like this?

I wonder if you can relate to feeling like this too?

I do think that it’s normal to have these thoughts and to get stuck in the messy middle. It’s part of the process of working out what you want to do and what direction you want to take I guess, but it really doesn’t feel great when you are in it does it!

So how can you get out of the messy middle?

Finding inspiration

I know that for me, one way to get out of the messy middle is to take the time to connect with myself and how I’m feeling. This is something that I haven’t been doing lately, but I know that when I do a short meditation in the morning then journal for a few minutes straight after, that feels inspiring to me. I can connect with a different part of myself and get out of my own head a bit too.

When I’m out with my youngest, especially if we are at the park or going for a walk, I’ll get ideas that pop into my head and I make sure that I write these in the Notes app of my phone for inspiration. My head is clearer when I’m outside than when I'm in the middle of all of the chaos at home.

It's about allowing myself to connect with what feels true for me at the moment, and just letting myself write and see what comes out of it, and trusting that the right message will come to me when I need it.

Being intentional

I know that to get out of the messy middle, I need to be more intentional about writing, instead of consuming more than I create.

I also kind of hope that moments will appear where I can write, but they don't - and they won't unless I intentionally create them.

It's also about getting out of the mindset too that I need a big chunk of time to write. I’ve realised that it's better to do 30 mins of writing every day than thinking I need to carve out space for a 2 hour writing session, which will never happen.

As an example, I wrote most of this post on my phone over a few days when my youngest was painting next to me, when I was waiting for my middle son at his climbing lesson, walking on the afternoon school run and once my kids were asleep.

My youngest perfectly capturing the messy middle here!

I think I know why it's felt hard...

I only realised it when I was writing this post, but I think part of the reason I’ve found January hard is because I’ve been putting pressure on myself to plan out the whole of 2025 in terms of what I’m going to write about here on Substack, and what I’m going to work on in my coaching business.

For me, looking ahead to the next 12 months, overwhelms me. It's too broad, I've got too many ideas and I don't know where to start. So, what happens is I just stop completely and then I don’t end up taking any action.

I was struggling with this, thinking well if I don’t have a plan, what should I do?

Then, as I was walking on the afternoon school run to pick up my kids earlier this week, I realised that I don’t have to plan ahead for the whole of 2025. I don’t have to put that pressure on myself.

Instead, I can just focus on one thing and do that well, instead of spreading myself too thin.

I can just ask myself, what’s the next small step I need to take?

This feels way more manageable and motivating for me. It’s also how I’ve taken action successfully in the past, I just need to remember this instead of falling into the over-planning and overthinking trap that gets me every time!!

So, instead when I feel stuck, here's a few things I'm going to remind myself/ask myself:

• What is realistic for me to do today with my energy levels?

• What small moments of time can I carve out to write? (even if it’s just 30 mins a day)

• Writing notes on my phone still counts as writing

• Just focus on the next step, you don’t have to have it all planned out

• Be OK with being even more imperfect, push your imperfect boundaries!

I’d love to hear from you in the comments if my words resonate with you and also:

• What kind of energy have you felt in January?

• Can you relate to being in the messy middle?

• What helps you feel inspired?

I’d love to hear your feedback…

I’d be so grateful if you took 5 minutes to complete my feedback survey all about my Substack posts and coaching offers.

Your answers will help me to shape my work going forward to make sure that I'm writing posts and creating offers that you'll find helpful - thank you so much!

Work with Jenna in 2025

If you’d like to start 2025 by setting feel-good goals, taking small (totally do-able) steps, that create long-lasting change then just think of me as your personal cheerleader who is going to support you in making those changes!

I’ll boost your confidence by reminding you of your strengths, of all the times when you’ve done hard things before and how amazing you already are - let’s get started and make incredible things happen for you!!

I’ve got space for 2 mums to work with me in my Rediscover YOU 12 week one to one coaching experience, and also space for 2 mums to work with me to create their very own 12 week Bespoke Self Care Plan - you can find all the details for both of these here or book a 30 min chat with me to find out more:

You might also like some of my most recent posts:

• Motherhood and Creativity Interview #22 - Stephanie Elizabeth

• Motherhood and Creativity Interview #21 - Océane Meftah

• My December highlights - magic moments throughout December, why Christmas felt different this year, a few free things I've created for you and Substack posts that I've loved lately.