Motherhood and Creativity Interview #21 - Océane Meftah

Océane is an Illustrator & Pattern Designer navigating a full-time day job & parenthood.

If you are new here, welcome! I’m so happy to have you here as part of this lovely, supportive community of mums. I’m Jenna, a mum of 3, a Coach for Mums and I live by the sea in South Wales.

Here on The Motherhood Connection, I love writing about:

• ways to ease your overwhelm and cultivate self-compassion as a mum

• tips on how to take imperfect action and live a life that feels good to you

• the small moments of family life that bring me joy

• honest reflections on motherhood

Every fortnight, I also publish a Motherhood and Creativity interview, where I share the words of creative mums who inspire me here on Substack and beyond. They share their words of joy, strength, creativity and community in motherhood and there’s so much wisdom in every interview.

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Welcome to Motherhood and Creativity, an interview series where I share the words of creative mums who inspire me here on Substack and beyond.

I share words of joy, strength, creativity and community in motherhood.

I feel like when we read the words of mums who speak so honestly about motherhood - the good parts, the hard parts and everything in between - this can really help give us some comfort and feel less alone.

I find so much inspiration from reading about mums who are all weaving their work and creativity around their kids too, as this is the situation I’m currently in. Knowing that there are other mums out there with creative dreams and careers and they are making it work around the edges of motherhood, that is so encouraging.

I hope you enjoy reading the words from these wonderful mums, and that you find comfort and inspiration in their words too.

You can read all 20 of the previous Motherhood and Creativity interviews here.

Motherhood and Creativity Interview #21 - Océane Meftah

Océane Meftah is an Illustrator & Pattern Designer navigating a full-time day job & parenthood. Curious by nature, she’s on a mission to unlock people's creativity and inspire them to find time to look for creative gems in the daily pebbles of life.

How old are your kids?

My 2 boys are 6 and 13.

When your children are older, what do you hope that they remember about the kind of mum that you were?

This question made me think a lot.

I’ve been a mother for 13 years but motherhood isn’t something I think about or reflect on often - it’s a given, it’s something I am.

In early 2024, I was diagnosed with severe Endometriosis after years of symptoms which progressively worsened. Endometriosis is a chronic illness linked to the menstrual cycle. I experience pain, often severe and discomfort for many continuous days each month. I’ve been honest with the boys about my symptoms.

My eldest understand more than the youngest but I think it’s important that they know about this and how it affects my life and my mood. By sharing this with them I want them to see me as a real mum, not hiding herself from her children, who cries in front of them when she feels sad, stressed or hurt.

When my boys are older I hope they remember me as a mum who was loving, fair and perhaps a little bit crazy (in a fun 'dancing in the kitchen' way). Someone who says yes as often or perhaps a little more often than no.

I wish that from me they learn that failure is as important as success and that being successful can take different shapes and forms. A mum who encouraged them to be curious and follow their dreams, whatever they may be.

When you think about the tough parts of your motherhood journey, which of your qualities/strengths have got you through these tough times?

I feel like I’ve had 2 very different motherhood journeys.

My youngest was almost 4 years old when his dad and I separated. My ex-husband suffered from issues with his mental health which meant that I was often solo parenting. Being quite organised by nature was very helpful during this period of my life. Having structure, a sleep routine etc. helped me gain some control over the parenting part of my life when some other parts were completely out of my control.

Our separation and ultimate divorce was not an easy process but resilience got me through it and a deep conviction that this was the best decision for my son and myself.

Meeting my current partner and having my second child changed my motherhood journey, this time around it’s been a real parental partnership, he’s a wonderful dad and step-dad.

My relationship with my ex-husband has much improved over the years so I guess patience is also something I’ve had to learn in my motherhood journey.

What brings you joy in motherhood?

There is so much joy amongst the chaos:

• the unexpected moments of complicity they have together

• watching my boys grow into their own personalities and how I can contribute to their growth by fostering curiosity and creativity in their worlds

• reading books together and their need to ask the ‘whys’ and ‘hows’ unfiltered.

• observing them from afar, seeing their imaginations feeds me with creative ideas

How important is creativity to you?

Creativity fills me with hope, joy and purpose.

It’s my escape from my day job which to be honest has been soul destroying for the past year.

Being creative has helped me know and understand myself better. It’s made me connect to others in a way that I never would have before. It’s re-ignited my curiosity for the world.

Tell us more about your favourite ways to be creative.

There are lots of ways I express my creativity and here are some of my personal favourites:

• Writing on my Substack

  The Curious Magpie
  has brought me so much joy over the past few months

• I’m working on a picture book project at the moment and even started playing with gouache painting again after years of not touching it

• I love designing colourful digital repeat patterns

• Collage & paper cutting (nothing more mindful than getting a pair of scissors, a few coloured papers and cutting random shapes for 20mins)

But creativity isn’t just arts and crafts. This is what I say in my membership

The Curious Magpie

Creativity is in everything - cooking, daydreaming and being curious about the world and yourself.

I’ve found the process of answering these interview questions so creatively stimulating. I’ve thought about my 13 years of motherhood in a way I never had before.

Since becoming a mum, have you experienced a creative surge? What did that look like for you?

I've always been creative. I have an MA in Screenwriting and I always wanted to be writer but life had other plans.

Post children, funnily enough my creative surge was born out of a need to escape from my children. I’m going to quote an extract from my first ever essay here from my Substack

The Curious Magpie

, because I feel it answers this question perfectly.

This is taken from ‘The Failed Writer and The Accidental Artist' published on May 7th 2024:

"I didn’t draw as a child, I much preferred reading. I did a bit of pottery, knitting, embroidery but that’s it. I only started drawing when my partner gifted me an iPad with a pencil for Christmas in 2018. Our son was 6 months old, not sleeping very much, I was exhausted and doodling on the iPad became a sort of mindful exercise. It was so easy, no materials to get ready, nothing to clean up. I’d make a mistake and I’d just delete it, pretend it never happened with the tap of 2 fingers (I use Procreate). It took me away from my, sometimes lonely, maternity leave. Then, not long after I went back to work, the pandemic happened. Stuck at home working full-time remotely with 2 children, drawing on my iPad wasn’t just a simple mindful exercise anymore. It became a life boat, without it I can’t imagine the damage to my mental health and the relationship with my children.

I’m entirely self-taught, with the help of Skillshare, Domestika and other online courses, I’ve learned to design stationery, illustrations & repeat patterns. I often struggle with my self-taught status. It comes out by always trying to learn more and more to compete with others who are younger and have the art education or professional background I will never have. Learning is great but not if it stops you from doing. I started drawing by accident but lots of things happen by accident. Is something happening by accident worth less because it wasn’t on purpose? What’s a happy accident? Chance or serendipity?"

What does honouring your creativity look like for you in this season of your mothering?

Now that my children are older, I’ve been able to to find time to honour my creativity alone or bring them along for the ride which has been lovely:

• sketching in the playground while my youngest plays (I bring a small tin of pencils and a pocket sized sketchbook)

• designing a pattern on my iPad on the sofa while watching an episode of Masterchef with my eldest

• having time at the weekend to write while the kids are at BMX

• involving my kids in my own creative sessions

• family collage Sunday mornings

• sharing some of my Substack essays with my eldest. He even complimented my writing (I was chuffed!)

What’s been your experience of finding a community in motherhood?

My experience of finding a community in motherhood has been very different between my first child and my second child.

To be honest I didn’t find much of a community with my first child. My ex-husband and I didn’t attend NCT classes (I feel that’s where a lot of parents find their initial parent tribe) we just attended the free birth classes the NHS was providing at the time and I did make a very special friend there but my experience was far removed from having a motherhood community.

To be honest, I didn’t crave a connection with other parents while I was on maternity leave, I was quite content just being with son. I was in my late 20s when I had him and none of my friends had children so I made timed connections with other mums during baby singing or library sessions and that suited me just fine. It carried on similarly as he grew up and went to nursery and then school.

Having my second child was very different, I craved connections. There is 7 years between the boys so by that point my friends were having children around the same time. I also made friend with a neighbour who had a little boy too.

My youngest was 2 years old when the pandemic hit and when nurseries were allowed to re-open, all the parents were talking to each other in the social distancing queue at drop off and pick up times. Everyone was as desperate as I was to make a connection. This community has grown since and it evolved from parenthood to friendship - I’m so grateful for them.

What words of encouragement would you offer to a mum who might be struggling at the moment?

This might be a bit controversial as words of encouragement but I think this applies to mothers of children from all ages:

• ‘You’re not superwoman. You can’t do it all. And you shouldn’t have to. You’re only human, you’re an amazing human and it’s okay to drop some balls sometimes. Actually maybe you should think about putting some of those balls down.”

• Breastfeeding is a ‘can’ and a ‘want’ not a should. I couldn’t breastfeed my first child and I was made to feel terrible about it, like there was something wrong with me. I could breastfeed my second child but I quickly realised it wasn’t for me, feeding on demand was stressing me out, to me it wasn’t the lovely bonding experience that lots of other people had made it out to be. It was making me very unhappy so I stopped and I got my happy back. Always trust your gut!

• Check out the ‘Happy Mum, Happy Baby’ podcast, it got me through some dark/sleep deprived times.

• Don’t dismiss the power of washing your hair even if it’s the last thing on your to do list. I promise you’ll feel for like a new woman (for a little while).

• Wanting time away from your kids doesn’t make you a bad parent. You need to take some time away from them to know what it's like to miss them and for them to miss you. Time for yourself isn’t selfish, ultimately it will make you a better parent. I know it makes me a better parent.

You can find out more about

Océane Meftah

here:

• Substack -

  The Curious Magpie

• Website - Papergraphie

• Instagram - @papergraphie

Thank you Océane for being part of the Motherhood and Creativity interview series.

I loved reading this interview and found these parts really interesting:

• when Océane says that she wants her sons to “…see me as a real mum, not hiding herself from her children, who cries in front of them when she feels sad, stressed or hurt.” - I agree that it’s important for our kids to see all sides of us, and for us not to worry about having to put on a happy face and pretend everything is fine for them, when it isn’t.

• how being organised, resilience and patience got Océane through the tough parts of her motherhood journey

• how creativity fills Océane with “hope, joy and purpose” and I feel like this really sums up why creativity is so important to mums - having those feelings of hope, joy and purpose especially on the hard days of being a mum can be something that we hold onto. When everything else might be going wrong that day, we can come back to our creativity and our creative projects that can help to ground and soothe us. Océane alludes to this when she explains how being a self-taught artist was instrumental in helping her mental health, especially during the pandemic.

• Océane’s list of how she currently honours her creativity with and without her kids is such great inspiration of how we can create around our kids

• and finally, I’m totally on board with Océane’s advice to a mum who is struggling:

  • ‘You’re not superwoman. You can’t do it all. And you shouldn’t have to. You’re only human, you’re an amazing human and it’s okay to drop some balls sometimes. Actually maybe you should think about putting some of those balls down.”

I hope you enjoyed this interview in the ‘Motherhood and Creativity’ series - these interviews will continue fortnightly until April 2025.

You can read all 20 of the previous Motherhood and Creativity interviews here.

I’d love to hear which of Océane’s words resonated with you - let me know in the comments.

Work with Jenna in 2025

If you’d like to start 2025 by setting feel-good goals, taking small (totally do-able) steps, that create long-lasting change then just think of me as your personal cheerleader who is going to support you in making those changes!

I’ll boost your confidence by reminding you of your strengths, of all the times when you’ve done hard things before and how amazing you already are - let’s get started and make incredible things happen for you!!

I’ve got space for 2 mums to work with me in my Rediscover YOU 12 week one to one coaching experience, and also space for 2 mums to work with me to create their very own 12 week Bespoke Self Care Plan - you can find all the details for both of these here.

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