Motherhood and Creativity Interview #20 - Vicki Lesley
Vicki Lesley has been working in documentary for 25 years. During that time she has developed and produced top-rated & award-winning TV documentaries for broadcasters in the UK and North America.
If you are new here, welcome! I’m so happy to have you here as part of this lovely, supportive community of mums. I’m Jenna, a mum of 3, a Coach for Mums and I live by the sea in South Wales.
Here on The Motherhood Connection, I love writing about:
ways to ease your overwhelm and cultivate self-compassion as a mum
tips on how to take imperfect action and live a life that feels good to you
the small moments of family life that bring me joy
honest reflections on motherhood
Every fortnight, I also publish a Motherhood and Creativity interview, where I share the words of creative mums who inspire me here on Substack and beyond. They share their words of joy, strength, creativity and community in motherhood and there’s so much wisdom in every interview.
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Welcome to Motherhood and Creativity, an interview series where I share the words of creative mums who inspire me here on Substack and beyond.
I share words of joy, strength, creativity and community in motherhood.
I feel like when we read the words of mums who speak so honestly about motherhood - the good parts, the hard parts and everything in between - this can really help give us some comfort and feel less alone.
I find so much inspiration from reading about mums who are all weaving their work and creativity around their kids too, as this is the situation I’m currently in. Knowing that there are other mums out there with creative dreams and careers and they are making it work around the edges of motherhood, that is so encouraging.
I hope you enjoy reading the words from these wonderful mums over the next few months, and that you find comfort and inspiration in their words too.
You can read all 19 of the previous Motherhood and Creativity interviews here.
Motherhood and Creativity Interview #20 - Vicki Lesley
Vicki Lesley has been working in documentary for 25 years.
During that time she has developed and produced top-rated & award-winning TV documentaries for broadcasters in the UK and North America, including the BBC, Channel 4, Channel 5, History Channel, Discovery & National Geographic, as well as directing several independent short films which screened at festivals around the world and online.
Her debut feature doc as director ’The Atom: A Love Affair’ was released in 2020 and is now available on Netflix in the UK & Europe and on Vimeo everywhere else.
Her most recent film as producer, ’The Nettle Dress’ , was released in September last year and has enjoyed a sell out cinema run across the UK.
She lives in Brighton with her partner and two children and is actively involved with her school's PTA as well as doing voluntary mentoring for the charity Arts Emergency and facilitating the DocMums peer support group.
How old are your kids?
10 & 4.
When your children are older, what do you hope that they remember about the kind of mum that you were?
I hope they remember me as kind & empathetic - always ready to have a laugh and find the silly in any situation, but also to listen to their fears or worries and talk seriously about the tough stuff if needed.
As someone who was always there for them no matter what.
And as someone whose work and creativity were really important to her - but not more important than looking after and spending time with them.
When you think about the tough parts of your motherhood journey, which of your qualities/strengths have got you through these tough times?
Being willing to reach out to others for comfort and support and talking honestly about what I was finding hard.
Taking a long view and always reminding myself that even the toughest times at any given age will pass and I'll miss them when they're gone (when both kids were babies and struggling to sleep and needing me to lay down and cuddle them for a long time when I had so many other things that were calling for my attention too, I used to whisper to myself - 'these are the good old days'.)
Gratitude. I came to motherhood late and I know it could easily never have happened for me. I had some very difficult times especially on my journey to become a mum the second time around and I count my blessings every day.
What brings you joy in motherhood?
Making my kids laugh, dancing with abandon to 80’s pop tunes with them, watching them while they're sleeping, seeing them face their fears and achieve things they weren't sure they could, hearing other people say that they are kind (kindness is our number one value as a family - we have two rules at home: 1) always be kind & 2) don't panic!)
How important is creativity to you?
It feels pretty fundamental. I can't really imagine a life where I didn't have some outlet for all the thoughts and ideas that bubble away in my brain the whole time.
I've been lucky that since graduating university 25 years ago now, I've only ever worked in creative, editorial roles, either in the TV industry or as an independent filmmaker.
So I've been able to give creativity a fairly central role in my life, which I'm very grateful for.
Tell us more about your favourite ways to be creative.
I think my creativity is more conceptual, rather than hands on, at least up to this point in my life anyway.
I would love to be able to draw or paint or sculpt and have thought about taking a class in something crafty like wood or lino cutting – maybe one day, eh!
Though having said that, I do love cooking elaborate veggie meals, so I guess that's a kind of hands-on creativity I already practice (with thanks to
for reminding me of the creativity of cooking in her interview).For now though, as someone working in non-fiction, I work primarily with what already exists in the world around me rather than creating from my imagination. I love coming up with loads and loads of different ideas and approaches to telling stories on screen – I did this in my job as a TV development producer for years.
Bringing together disparate elements you might not have thought would go together or finding non-obvious ways to tell what might seem like familiar stories is something I really get a buzz from.
I also love working with historical stories and footage and repurposing or reimagining them in a way that feels relevant to today.
And my other favourite way of being creative is collaboration (maybe this is why I love film and TV which are inherently collaborative mediums). All the best creative ideas and projects I've been involved with have come from the magic of two or more minds sparking together to come up with something new and exciting. The whole is definitely greater than the sum of the parts I find. Plus it's a lot more fun!
Since becoming a mum, have you experienced a creative surge? What did that look like for you?
Honestly, especially in the early days I would say it was the opposite. I was so tired and overwhelmed and for a while there I think I lost some of the spark to see my way to thinking creatively at all.
It was hard to focus my thoughts and hard to shift my attention away from mothering, even when I carved out hours of paid childcare expressly for that purpose.
Now they're older I'm still working out the balance, but it definitely feels like the old me is back a lot more of the time!
What does honouring your creativity look like for you in this season of your mothering?
I've started a new chapter as my youngest started school this September – and I also feel in a transitional phase in my life overall as I'm in my late 40’s now and experiencing the fun times of perimenopause (!)
I also spent over a decade focused on one epic creative project – my debut feature film, which was released in 2020. Ever since that came out I've been very gently exploring what comes next for me.
One of the ways I'm doing this is actually through my writing on Substack which I've now been doing for a whole year (I wrote a post to celebrate this here.) It's helpful for me as a way to clarify my thoughts and work out which of all the many, many ideas buzzing in my brain I actually want to pursue. But I've also found it a really enjoyable creative endeavour in its own right, which I hadn't necessarily been expecting.
As well as flexing my writing muscles, I’m also developing a couple of new film projects, one of which will hopefully involve producing some animation, which is something I’m excited about as the times in the past that I’ve collaborated with animators have been really creatively rewarding.
I’ve also spent quite a bit of time this year exploring how I might use my creative skills in a new online business venture helping people record their life stories, which has involved things like creating workbooks and thinking about making online courses, although I’m putting that on the back burner for the next little while.
And lastly I’ve been cooking up plans for a new paid membership aspect to my Substack for 2025, focused around my passion for exploring atomic issues and how I can build a community around that.
So my creativity right now is looking a little more diffuse and spread over more different areas than in the past – but I think that's a good thing!
What’s been your experience of finding a community in motherhood?
I was really fortunate to find an amazing circle of friends when I was pregnant with my eldest through my local NCT antenatal group in Brighton - and we're all still friends more than 10 years later, albeit that we speak & meet up a lot less frequently now and no longer all live in the same city.
Having a supportive group of mums to ask questions of anytime of day or night (we had a special WhatsApp group just for night feeds early on) and knowing they were all experiencing the same challenges - and the same joys - was just such a gift.
Then, later on I expanded my circle of mum friends again when my son started at nursery and then on to school. I didn't have the same experience with my youngest as she was born just before the first lockdown in 2020 so there were no baby groups or classes open to go to throughout her infancy.
She obviously didn't know any different but I really felt the lack of these social opportunities, especially since there's quite a big age gap between my kids, so all my existing mum friends were long past the baby stage.
Happily I have made a couple of new mum friends with children similar in age to my daughter in the past couple of years which has been great.
And most recently I was lucky enough to be chosen to train up as a peer support group facilitator for documentary filmmakers and now run a small peer support group for mums in documentary.
This has been such a positive experience as the documentary world is going through a particularly challenging time right now – a situation which is only compounded by having caring responsibilities on top to contend with.
It's been invaluable being able to share the struggle with colleagues with similar lived experiences as well as cheerleading and celebrating each other and having a space to bounce off creative ideas too.
What words of encouragement would you offer to a mum who might be struggling at the moment?
You are everything your child needs – even on days when you feel like you didn't live up to the standards you want to (because I know all of us mums are way too hard on ourselves!) it's so important to remember that.
Plus of course to remember that children are constantly changing and the tough times of this particular age or stage will pass – there's comfort in that I think.
Also I love the opening line from the iconic postwar childcare book by Dr Spock – you know more than you think you do. Trust yourself. Give yourself grace.
And go have a cup of tea and a biscuit (or whatever your own little pick me up is ) - you've earned it!
You can find out more about
here:Vicki’s film - The Atom: A Love Affair
Substack - Meandering over the pebbles
Bluesky - @vickilesley.bluesky.social
An interview Vicki did 8 years ago about her experience of becoming a new mum and how this affected her filmmaking work then
Thank you Vicki for being part of the Motherhood and Creativity interview series.
I loved reading this interview and found these parts really interesting:
when Vicki says that she hopes her kids remember her “as someone whose work and creativity were really important to her - but not more important than looking after and spending time with them.” I think this balances the knowing that our kids see what is important to us and our identity outside of motherhood, but also knowing that that they are the most important part of our lives too, in a really lovely way.
when Vicki says that “being willing to reach out to others for comfort and support and talking honestly about what I was finding hard” was one of her strengths in getting through the tough parts of motherhood. It’s not easy to reach out to others for support, but when you are able to, what a difference it makes. Feeling isolated, alone and like you are the only one going through something really takes it toll, but by being vulnerable and honest, that’s when things actually start to change for the better I’ve found.
reading about how Vicki enjoys “bringing together disparate elements you might not have thought would go together or finding non-obvious ways to tell what might seem like familiar stories” in her work. Also how she enjoys collaborating with others in her work too.
how Vicki’s Substack has helped her to clarify her thoughts and work out what ideas that she actually wants to pursue.
Vicki’s experiences of having a community in motherhood - from a supportive NCT group, to lacking social opportunities with her youngest due to the pandemic and now being a peer supporter to other mums in her industry.
and finally, Vicki’s advice to a mum who is struggling is something that all mums need to hear:
“You are everything your child needs – even on days when you feel like you didn't live up to the standards you want to (because I know all of us mums are way too hard on ourselves!) it's so important to remember that.”
I hope you enjoyed this interview in the ‘Motherhood and Creativity’ series - I publish these interviews every fortnight, and will continue to for as long as the interviews keep coming through.
You can read all 19 of the previous Motherhood and Creativity interviews here.
I’d love to hear which of Vicki’s words resonated with you - let me know in the comments.
Ways to work with me in 2025
In January, I have space for 2 mums to work with me on their 12 week Bespoke Self-Care Plan.
In January, I have space for 2 mums to work with me in my 12 week one to one coaching experience - Rediscover YOU.
Rediscover YOU is a 12 week one to one coaching experience that will support you in making positive changes in your life in a gentle and kind way, that fits in with your life as a busy mum right now.
Together, we’ll work out what’s important to you now in your current season of motherhood and how you can make positive changes in your life in line with these priorities, in a totally do-able way as a busy mum!
If you’d like to find out more, let’s have a chat and a cuppa about how I can best support you.
You might also like some of my most recent posts:
My November highlights - plus, I talk about getting out of your comfort zone and making a change, my TV and book recommendations & Substack posts I’ve loved recently
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