I can feel that restlessness in me, that need to gather my thoughts, because that’s what I think writing on here is for me - a chance to gather my thoughts and make sense of them.
Ah this is beautiful, I still have Claudia's post bookmarked to read and I love that it has inspired yours. It's lovely to hear more about your motherhood journey and how it has evolved with each child.
Lauren Barber's post about being a different mother to the one she thought she would be resonated deeply, I loved how she reframed the doubts with all of the beauty and tenderness she is bringing to her mothering, and ultimately to her children.
My earliest days of mothering were when we went into lockdown in 2020 and so much of that year was spent just the three of us. Of course there were so many challenges especially having a very unsettled and sensitive baby but I look back on those times with fondness — they were simple in many ways, i.e. literally having nowhere to go apart from a daily walk but so complex in others as my entire world changed from pre-baby/pre-pandemic life and the depths required to hold the needs of my daughter. My experience second time around has been different — less intense in that I knew what to expect this time, my son was a much 'easier' baby and I had family support/normality around me and yet more intense in that everything is amplified having two...the balancing of needs, the physical and emotional demands etc., and the expectation to get on with things... At times it has felt really hard but also incredibly beautiful. Holding it all and trying to soak up as much as possible. Love to you xx
Thank you Lyndsay - it's such a beautiful poem - it's lovely to sit down and reflect, not something we get the chance to do much is it!
Oh yes, Lauren's post was just wonderful wasn't it - I really felt her words in that post, and loved how she brought in all of the things that she did love about her mothering too, that message of things are really tough but look at all of these other things which are positive too.
Thank you for sharing your two very different experiences as a mum too - it must have been incredibly difficult to be a first time mum in lockdown when there was so much uncertainty around. It's lovely how you look back at those times with fondness though, funnily enough my latest podcast guest said similar to you about her eldest being born just before lockdown too.
And your experience with your second, I a glad that you have the support around you more, but yes, gosh the intensity of having two little ones, it's incredibly tough - that expectation to get on with things is one of the hardest things I think. Expectation to get on with things despite an awful night's sleep, really challenging morning etc, that feeling of, how am I going to have enough energy to last through the day?! I love your perspective though of holding it all and soaking in as much as possible. Xxx
I feel so torn in this baby phase... it’s been so hard, probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done... and that’s partly because I’m missing my eldest, and partly because we have had so much to navigate with reflux and allergies and such a different experience. I have felt very much the survival phase and my writing has fed me in my darkest moments. I love your reflections and it’s so beautiful that you can share this younger phase with your older two.
I hear you Lauren, and with the age your little ones are at now, I still maintain that was the hardest part of mothering for me, so it's no wonder you feel how you feel. And the extra health challenges too, are extremely hard to deal with alongside everything else. Sometimes you just have nothing left in the tank!
I am so glad that having your writing there has nourished you in the tough times too - you articulate your experience so beautifully, I can imagine the writing helps you make sense of it all too.
Thank you, that's very kind, I'm so looking forward to the retreat!
I can so relate to this urge to be writing when there is no time! And also a baby and a 2 and a half year old was me last year and it was so tough. I think it’s getting easier, but like you had it’s the tantrums I find hard.
Not a memory of my kids, but you’ve made me think of a time when I was 9/10 and my best friends mum had a new baby. I remember it being so fun to visit the baby and we loved helping with him. That’s such a lovely experience for your children to have had. My brother was 5 years younger than me and I felt like a second mother to him at times as I had alot of responsibility for him when I was around 10/11, probably too young, but we are good friends as adults and the age difference is non existent really.
Yes! It's so hard to sit with that feeling sometimes, it's like this urge to create something, then you feel so much better after you've written something - that sense of achievement and creative release too. Gosh 2 close together is so so tough, yes the tantrums are just....a lot. I never knew how to deal with them - now if my eldest does have a wobble I just say, even if you don't feel like it, please come and have a cuddle because it will make you feel better. That's my only tactic!!
What a lovely memory, so sweet that you loved helping too, special moments to have with your best friend too. The memories of that age are so vivid aren't they, which is mad because my daughter is that age now! That's must have been hard having lots of responsibility at a young age, but I love that you are good friends as adults too. I really hope my kids are close when they are older, that's one of my dreams.
Oh wow thank you so much for the mention Jenna. What an honour to have inspired this beautiful post 🥹 I am just as grateful for the wonderful connections we have been able to make here ✨ I really resonated with your words too, especially how you've been a different mother with each of your children. I only have two, hopefully a third in the future but I notice that with each child, each year or perhaps even month or day that passes I grow and look at things from a different, more open hearted and compassionate perspective than perhaps the day before. It's such a beautiful and also challenging and at times very stretching thing to grow up alongside our babies. Thank you for sharing your heart with us ✨ so much love to you x
It really stopped me in my tracks reading your poem - I love it when writing makes me feel that way. Thank you, I'm glad my words resonated too - yes absolutely we change so much as mums don't we. Learning and evolving and growing all the time alongside our kids. I agree about having a more open-hearted and compassionate perspective as time goes on too - I've found that too. I sometimes feel guilty that my youngest gets the best version of me, and my eldest two didn't really when they were little. Yes, challenging and beautiful, completely agree.
Ah this is beautiful, I still have Claudia's post bookmarked to read and I love that it has inspired yours. It's lovely to hear more about your motherhood journey and how it has evolved with each child.
Lauren Barber's post about being a different mother to the one she thought she would be resonated deeply, I loved how she reframed the doubts with all of the beauty and tenderness she is bringing to her mothering, and ultimately to her children.
My earliest days of mothering were when we went into lockdown in 2020 and so much of that year was spent just the three of us. Of course there were so many challenges especially having a very unsettled and sensitive baby but I look back on those times with fondness — they were simple in many ways, i.e. literally having nowhere to go apart from a daily walk but so complex in others as my entire world changed from pre-baby/pre-pandemic life and the depths required to hold the needs of my daughter. My experience second time around has been different — less intense in that I knew what to expect this time, my son was a much 'easier' baby and I had family support/normality around me and yet more intense in that everything is amplified having two...the balancing of needs, the physical and emotional demands etc., and the expectation to get on with things... At times it has felt really hard but also incredibly beautiful. Holding it all and trying to soak up as much as possible. Love to you xx
Thank you Lyndsay - it's such a beautiful poem - it's lovely to sit down and reflect, not something we get the chance to do much is it!
Oh yes, Lauren's post was just wonderful wasn't it - I really felt her words in that post, and loved how she brought in all of the things that she did love about her mothering too, that message of things are really tough but look at all of these other things which are positive too.
Thank you for sharing your two very different experiences as a mum too - it must have been incredibly difficult to be a first time mum in lockdown when there was so much uncertainty around. It's lovely how you look back at those times with fondness though, funnily enough my latest podcast guest said similar to you about her eldest being born just before lockdown too.
And your experience with your second, I a glad that you have the support around you more, but yes, gosh the intensity of having two little ones, it's incredibly tough - that expectation to get on with things is one of the hardest things I think. Expectation to get on with things despite an awful night's sleep, really challenging morning etc, that feeling of, how am I going to have enough energy to last through the day?! I love your perspective though of holding it all and soaking in as much as possible. Xxx
I feel so torn in this baby phase... it’s been so hard, probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done... and that’s partly because I’m missing my eldest, and partly because we have had so much to navigate with reflux and allergies and such a different experience. I have felt very much the survival phase and my writing has fed me in my darkest moments. I love your reflections and it’s so beautiful that you can share this younger phase with your older two.
The retreat sounds wonderful, lucky guests xxxx
I hear you Lauren, and with the age your little ones are at now, I still maintain that was the hardest part of mothering for me, so it's no wonder you feel how you feel. And the extra health challenges too, are extremely hard to deal with alongside everything else. Sometimes you just have nothing left in the tank!
I am so glad that having your writing there has nourished you in the tough times too - you articulate your experience so beautifully, I can imagine the writing helps you make sense of it all too.
Thank you, that's very kind, I'm so looking forward to the retreat!
I can so relate to this urge to be writing when there is no time! And also a baby and a 2 and a half year old was me last year and it was so tough. I think it’s getting easier, but like you had it’s the tantrums I find hard.
Not a memory of my kids, but you’ve made me think of a time when I was 9/10 and my best friends mum had a new baby. I remember it being so fun to visit the baby and we loved helping with him. That’s such a lovely experience for your children to have had. My brother was 5 years younger than me and I felt like a second mother to him at times as I had alot of responsibility for him when I was around 10/11, probably too young, but we are good friends as adults and the age difference is non existent really.
Yes! It's so hard to sit with that feeling sometimes, it's like this urge to create something, then you feel so much better after you've written something - that sense of achievement and creative release too. Gosh 2 close together is so so tough, yes the tantrums are just....a lot. I never knew how to deal with them - now if my eldest does have a wobble I just say, even if you don't feel like it, please come and have a cuddle because it will make you feel better. That's my only tactic!!
What a lovely memory, so sweet that you loved helping too, special moments to have with your best friend too. The memories of that age are so vivid aren't they, which is mad because my daughter is that age now! That's must have been hard having lots of responsibility at a young age, but I love that you are good friends as adults too. I really hope my kids are close when they are older, that's one of my dreams.
Oh wow thank you so much for the mention Jenna. What an honour to have inspired this beautiful post 🥹 I am just as grateful for the wonderful connections we have been able to make here ✨ I really resonated with your words too, especially how you've been a different mother with each of your children. I only have two, hopefully a third in the future but I notice that with each child, each year or perhaps even month or day that passes I grow and look at things from a different, more open hearted and compassionate perspective than perhaps the day before. It's such a beautiful and also challenging and at times very stretching thing to grow up alongside our babies. Thank you for sharing your heart with us ✨ so much love to you x
It really stopped me in my tracks reading your poem - I love it when writing makes me feel that way. Thank you, I'm glad my words resonated too - yes absolutely we change so much as mums don't we. Learning and evolving and growing all the time alongside our kids. I agree about having a more open-hearted and compassionate perspective as time goes on too - I've found that too. I sometimes feel guilty that my youngest gets the best version of me, and my eldest two didn't really when they were little. Yes, challenging and beautiful, completely agree.