Motherhood and Creativity Interview #4 -Lyndsay Kaldor
Lyndsay is a mother, creative and storyteller with a background in interiors PR.
Welcome to Motherhood and Creativity, an interview series where I share the words of creative mums who inspire me here on Substack and beyond.
I’ll be sharing words of joy, strength, creativity and community in motherhood.
I feel like when we read the words of mums who speak so honestly about motherhood - the good parts, the hard parts and everything in between - this can really help give us some comfort and feel less alone.
I find so much inspiration from reading about mums who are all weaving their work and creativity around their kids too, as this is the situation I’m currently in. Knowing that there are other mums out there with creative dreams and careers and they are making it work around the edges of motherhood, that is so encouraging.
I hope you enjoy reading the words from these wonderful mums over the next few weeks and months, and that you find comfort and inspiration in their words too.
You can read the rest of the Motherhood and Creativity interview series here:
Motherhood and Creativity Interview #1 with
Motherhood and Creativity Interview #2 with Emma Benyon
Motherhood and Creativity Interview #3 with
Motherhood and Creativity Interview #4 - Lyndsay Kaldor
is a mother, creative and storyteller with a background in interiors PR. Lyndsay is currently creating a home as a foundation to nurture, a conduit of creativity and an anchor to her surroundings as the seasons turn in her corner of the world.
How old are your kids?
My daughter is four and my son is two years old.
When your children are older, what do you hope that they remember about the kind of mum that you were?
This is a great question and allows me to take a step back from the everyday minutiae of mothering (although of course it is the millions of micro-moments that are at the basis of everything).
I hope that my children remember me being a strong and stable presence, as a place to begin from and return to, an anchor and a warm feeling, like the feeling of being at home.
I hope that they remember me as supportive — celebrating their uniqueness and their voices. I hope that they will know that their thoughts, feelings and opinions were always welcomed and that everything they shared with me would be held closely and tenderly.
I hope they remember my creativity, curiosity and appreciation of small things and that they too, notice the beauty and magic in the world around us.
When you think about the tough parts of your motherhood journey, which of your qualities/strengths have got you through these tough times?
There are so many layers to the challenges that continue to evolve. Initially I found the stillness difficult, my daughter was extremely attached as a young baby and needed a lot of comfort and reassurance through touch. I was not able to 'do' any of the things I wanted to be getting on with or was used to doing and spent many hours sitting, rocking, holding, feeding and soothing her.
The practices of yoga and meditation had given me some of the tools to soften into what is present and some of the patience that is needed in abundance. I see now that it was part of learning to cultivate the most everyday version of presence, to tune in so deeply that I could recognise what was needed in the moment, without trying to change it.
Other challenges include the daily experience of my children's big emotions which can feel exhausting and triggering at times, but again through the learnings of various yoga teachings and an awareness of the importance of resourcing myself, I feel I am (usually) able to remain calm enough to hold space for them. Also having an understanding of what is going on for them developmentally and having realistic expectations of a child of their ages helps me to empathise with their feelings.
The all-encompassing nature of mothering and the division of myself (and my heart) between two separate beings that need me is often a challenge and requires all of me (and more!), a lot of the time, day and night. Through various life experiences (including the births of both children), I find a way to dig down to a deeper level of everyday resilience that is so often needed. Of course this feeling is probably exacerbated by the way that we mother in the modern age where we are expected to mother on our own for a lot of the time…
What brings you joy in motherhood?
So much, it is often beautiful and hard in the same breath! Seeing the strong personalities of my children blossoming (though their characters have been clear since day one!) and to witness their becoming brings me joy.
It feels joyful when we all manage to find some flow and are able to get on with the things we want to do alongside one another. I love nothing more than when my children are fully absorbed in their imaginary world (and leave me on the periphery!). The moments of connection and love between siblings feels heart-bursting at times, knowing that they are forging a strong lifelong bond.
The cuddles at bedtime (or anytime) and knowing that this is the littlest they are ever going to be allows me to put the day in perspective. Witnessing them noticing things, working things out, expressing themselves unapologetically, enjoying what they are doing and being in their own flow always feels joyful to me.
How important is creativity to you?
Creativity is hugely important to me. Bringing a creative lens to everyday life brings meaning and magic to the days that can feel like a blur, in our world that is for now, quite small.
I fill the rare quiet moments with words, colour, scent and texture and often devote my precious alone-time to writing — to reclaim space for my thoughts; to think for myself rather than to respond (to others’ needs); to explore and learn more about the things I am intrigued by — but most of all, to notice, appreciate and tell the everyday stories of our life together, in the hope of framing this fragment in time.
Tell us more about your favourite ways to be creative.
I feel as though I have different layers of creativity in my life. Firstly, within the everyday routines we have as a family — this means bringing a reverence or intention to the things we do which I hope will become part of the tapestry of my children's memories.
Also, I find creativity within the very small pockets of time when I am with my children but they are occupied (or asleep!), a thought can come to me whilst we are on our way to the park or reading a book and I do my best to note things down (usually on my phone).
More and more I am carving out broader expanses of time when I am able to gather myself alone and spend time with some of my favourite things which to feel creative or encourage my creativity.
These include walking in our local ancient woodland often listening to a podcast; gardening which now plays an important role in my life bringing me in closer connection with the earth, the seasons and myself; moving my body in whatever way it needs; bringing the seasons into our home; and a gentle reading practice where I finding much inspiration and solace. But first and foremost, the place I am drawn is to my desk for a writing practice. Getting words onto paper allows me to make sense of myself.
Since becoming a mum, have you experienced a creative surge? What did that look like for you?
Yes though it has been layered and complex, as initially I felt drawn towards creativity but didn’t feel able to channel it for various reasons. I was entirely consumed by mothering in those early days and unable to find the words to express the magnitude of my feelings about the experience I was having.
Instead my creativity began to manifest in the way I was living every day, being aware of how I could shape the energy within our home —often in the in-between moments like lighting a candle at breakfast-time and soaking in the garden at dusk, both an intentional moment for myself and shared with family.
Creativity also began to take the form of curiosity and noticing, the more aware I became of the seasons unfolding, the more I felt both anchored and also aware of the magic around us. I soon began to find time when my daughter slept on or next to me to work on a creative collaboration to design balanced, soulful interiors led by the wisdom of the elements which was exciting and fulfilling.
Despite finding ways to live creatively, it is only really three years after my daughter was born and my son was one that I began to feel my feet in a new phase of self-expression. As my children grow, I spend longer spells on my own, allowing space to enter my thoughts and I can sense the edges of where I begin and end within the haze of mothering. It’s not as though I have been lost but rather in a deep cocoon of rediscovery, piecing together all of the parts of me that exist together.
What does honouring your creativity look like for you in this season of your mothering?
Choosing to write, create and dream over doing the dishes!
What’s been your experience of finding a community in motherhood?
Motherhood for me began six weeks before the first lockdown of the COVID pandemic in 2020. Despite not being able to go out and connect with other mothers, I found community in beautiful online offerings.
My yoga teacher and friend
who writes over at created a daily mothers’ meditation circle on Zoom which was extremely grounding within the blur of early mothering/lockdown days. I looked forward to it each day and loved the window into other worlds, seeing mothers feed and play with their babies.I also joined a wonderful online course called New Baby & Me led by experienced women's yoga teacher and motherhood mentor Lynn Murphy. Lynn created a nurturing and reassuring container which held me deeply in those early weeks and months with a very sensitive baby. I am still a part of Lynn's mother's circle which meets regularly online and in person and is a very supportive space.
More recently I have been able to forge ties in real life with local mothers who have become friends, and friends who have become mothers and we work things out alongside each other.
Lastly, I have been so heartened to meet a wonderful community of creative mothers here on Substack. The sense of knowing, support and inspiration is something I hadn’t expected at all and continues to be one of the most nourishing experiences online and beyond.
What words of encouragement would you offer to a mum who might be struggling at the moment?
You are the perfect mother for your child, all they need is you, in your fullness. Don’t overthink, trust your inner voice and do what is needed for your child in the moment, things can and will always change when they are ready to. There is so much value in what you are doing, although a lot of the work you are doing is unseen, know that you are responsible for creating, holding and nurturing life and are laying a strong foundation for your child to feel anchored to home and empowered to fly. There is no rush, there is a time for everything and everything will unfold just as it is meant to.
You can find out more about Lyndsay here:
Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful words with us Lyndsay.
I can really feel the theme of home weaved throughout your words and how you bring in being present and creative in the small moments, to help anchor you back to yourself.
I love Lyndsay’s reflections on the tough parts on mothering and how her previous experience of yoga and meditation helped her soften into the moment more, especially when she says:
“I see now that it was part of learning to cultivate the most everyday version of presence, to tune in so deeply that I could recognise what was needed in the moment, without trying to change it.”
It was also interesting when Lyndsay described being fully resourced yourself means you can deal with your children’s big emotions better and how she digs down to a deeper level of everyday resilience in mothering too.
I think it's so helpful to reflect on your strengths that you use everyday as a mum, because it helps you see that you are doing so much better than you think. Also, realising how tools that might have helped you before you had kids can help you now as a mum, even if the practice looks different to how it did before.
Lyndsay talks about the different layers to her creativity and how this actually unfolded for her, where she didn’t have the time to be creative in early mothering, so creativity came out in those small moments and it’s slowly built up as her kids have got older.
Finally, Lyndsay’s gentle and reassuring words for a mum who is having a tough time are so beautiful:
“There is so much value in what you are doing, although a lot of the work you are doing is unseen, know that you are responsible for creating, holding and nurturing life and are laying a strong foundation for your child to feel anchored to home and empowered to fly.”
If you are a mum who’d like to take part in this Motherhood and Creativity interview series - just get in touch, I’d love to hear from you!
I hope you enjoyed this interview in the ‘Motherhood and Creativity’ interview series - I’ll be publishing these interviews every fortnight for as long as the interviews keep coming through.
I’d love to hear from you in the comments:
Which of Lyndsay’s words resonated with you?
Has your creativity shifted and changed as your kids have grown?
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“Everything will unfold just as it is meant to.”
I exhaled upon reading that last line. Thank you, Lyndsay. Life has been very full lately and your words are always a balm 💛
This was a lovely interview. I always enjoy hearing Lyndsay’s words 🩷