Motherhood and Creativity Interview #9 - Emma Del Rey
Emma Del Rey is a mother, writer, and artist. Her background includes trauma-informed coaching, meditation and therapy studies. Emma is creator and space holder at Being in Motherhood.
Welcome to Motherhood and Creativity, an interview series where I share the words of creative mums who inspire me here on Substack and beyond.
I’ll be sharing words of joy, strength, creativity and community in motherhood.
I feel like when we read the words of mums who speak so honestly about motherhood - the good parts, the hard parts and everything in between - this can really help give us some comfort and feel less alone.
I find so much inspiration from reading about mums who are all weaving their work and creativity around their kids too, as this is the situation I’m currently in. Knowing that there are other mums out there with creative dreams and careers and they are making it work around the edges of motherhood, that is so encouraging.
I hope you enjoy reading the words from these wonderful mums over the next few weeks and months, and that you find comfort and inspiration in their words too.
You can read the most recent of the Motherhood and Creativity interview series here:
Motherhood and Creativity Interview #6 with
Motherhood and Creativity Interview #7 with
Motherhood and Creativity Interview #8 with
Motherhood and Creativity Interview #9 - Emma Del Rey
is a mother, writer, and artist. Her background includes trauma-informed coaching, meditation and therapy studies. Emma is creator and space holder at , a collaborative space for mothers to share their words about motherhood. Emma spends her days chasing her wild toddler and taking every free moment to write, create, and be. 
How old are your kids?
My son is 2 years old.
When your children are older, what do you hope that they remember about the kind of mum that you were?
I hope my son remembers feeling loved, genuine and authentic love. I want him to remember feeling accepted for who he was. I hope he holds positive memories of me rooted in space and time, I hope there are smells that make him think of me, I hope there is food that makes him think of me.
I hope when he looks back the pain is minimal and the love is great. I hope as he grows and we separate more and more, he sees me as a human, with flaws, and he knows he is whole exactly as he his.
When you think about the tough parts of your motherhood journey, which of your qualities/strengths have got you through these tough times?
This feels hard to answer. At first in my son's life, I struggled immensely with my well-being and mental health. His presence and my entrance into motherhood ignited a lot of trauma and made it clear how much I struggled with PTSD. So, initially I relied on my trauma to get me through the hard things and it only made it harder.
When I started to heal and shift things in my body, I learned how to be softer and embracing my softness and letting go of my need to constantly be in control has helped us get through the harder moments.
When I am rooted in my body, when I am grounded within myself, we can face anything together.
What brings you joy in motherhood?
My son is starting to talk and it is a joy (also, sometimes I wish he had an off button, or a quieter button). It was one of those things I worried endlessly about, is he talking enough? what if he is delayed? what will I do? what does it mean? And then one day, he would not stop babbling and more words started to become clearer.
The joy is in watching him grow and evolve. The joy is in watching this happen and reminding myself he is his own person and my responsibility is to guide him and sometimes move out of his way to let him be himself.
How important is creativity to you?
Creativity is immensely important to me. I did not think of myself as creative until motherhood, the trauma that resurface in the first year of my son's life brought me into direct contact with my mistaken belief that I am not creative.
Tell us more about your favourite ways to be creative.
Writing, writing poems, painting, dancing, mothering, playing with my son. I find anything can be a creative act. I associate creativity with moving energy and feeling alive, so if an activity is helping me move my energy and lands me in my body, I think and feel I am being creative.
Since becoming a mum, have you experienced a creative surge? What did that look like for you?
Yes, the creative surge came when I started to clear out trauma. When I spent less time obsessing about the past, I had more time in the moment to dream and create.
Then, I found myself compelled to write it all down and capture it. I wanted to make sense of what I was experiencing, and if I am being honest, I worried feeling good in my body and spacious was something that was fleeting, so I wanted to remember it.
While feelings have ebbed and flowed, the space I created by working through my trauma has stayed and I have a much more deeper connection to myself and my creativity.
What does honouring your creativity look like for you in this season of your mothering?
I have to not worry about any of it looking a certain way and showing up differently from day to day and week to week.
It looks like putting words on paper or the computer when I feel them moving through me or when motherhood will allow it. I bring a journal with me everywhere in case I have a thought or an inspiration.
It is also about trusting there will be enough time and space for everything in life to get done and asking for the space I need to go create.
What’s been your experience of finding a community in motherhood?
Sadly, not great. I have struggled with holding lasting female friendships. It is something I am working on. I tend to be introverted and shy, so it takes a lot for me to try and talk to someone and reach out.
We don't have much family near us either, so we are alone a lot, sometimes it is lonely and sometimes it feels like we have what we need in our family unit.
I do long for community, I long for a community that is supportive and loving, it is what I created in my Substack.
What words of encouragement would you offer to a mum who might be struggling at the moment?
Motherhood is hard, you are not failing. It is not your fault you are struggling and it is your responsibility to figure out how to care for yourself so you can care for your child.
Your well being matters. It is okay to struggle, to feel down, to lose yourself inside of all of it, I have been there. And it does not define you, what defines you more as a mother is how you make sense of your struggles and move yourself through them.
You can find out more about on her Substack .
Thank you for these wonderful words Emma, I really appreciate your openness and hearing more about your healing journey. The parts of this interview that stood out to me were:
When Emma talks about the strength and resilience that she gets from being grounded and present:
"When I am rooted in my body, when I am grounded within myself, we can face anything together."
How Emma includes mothering and playing with her son as creative acts and goes further to say:
"I find anything can be a creative act. I associate creativity with moving energy and feeling alive, so if an activity is helping me move my energy and lands me in my body, I think and feel I am being creative."I love how every mum's definition of creativity is different in this interview series which I think can really help us as mums to see that actually we are creative everyday, often without realising it.
When Emma bravely mentions her trauma throughout this interview and talks about how dealing with her trauma helped her to dream and create:
"When I spent less time obsessing about the past, I had more time in the moment to dream and create. Then, I found myself compelled to write it all down and capture it. I wanted to make sense of what I was experiencing..."When Emma talks about “…trusting there will be enough time and space for everything in life to get done…”, I feel like this is such a great reminder to not rush or put pressure on ourselves. Trusting in the process and also trusting in ourselves too, and following our own individual rhythms and energy.
How Emma has struggled finding a community in motherhood, and how that’s led her to creating her own community here on Substack - a community that is “…supportive and loving…”
I hope you enjoyed this interview in the ‘Motherhood and Creativity’ interview series - I’ll be publishing these interviews every fortnight for as long as the interviews keep coming through.
I’d love to hear from you in the comments:
Which of Emma’s words resonated with you?
What practices build your strength and resilience as a mum?
Emma talks about “…trusting there will be enough time and space for everything in life to get done…”. How different would you feel if you believed this? What would change for you?
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Thank you for this brilliant interview Jenna and Emma. I loved what you said about creativity being an energy and that definitely speaks to how it has come through for me, I hugely value the alone-time I have to be creative but when that is limited it is interesting that I can feel creative in everyday mothering if I pay attention to the energy. And yes motherhood is hardddd, thank you for the reminder not to be hard on ourselves. Much love to both of you xx
Love this Jenna and Emma - thank you. So much of this resonated with me. I love your perspective Emma that anything can be creative and it’s an energy… I rarely see mothering that way as it feels so different from when I’m in the creative flow with my writing. But I think this has a lot to do with the belief I’ve struggled with that mothering isn’t valuable and I’m not good at it… love this invitation to see the creativity it involves. Also thank you for this reminder: ‘It is also about trusting there will be enough time and space for everything in life to get done and asking for the space I need to go create.’