Motherhood and Creativity Interview #7 - Aleks Balazy-Knas

Aleks is a CBT therapist and a mother, passionately writing about perinatal mental health, matrescence, and the complexities of motherhood on her Substack publication, "Unscrewing Motherhood."

Welcome to Motherhood and Creativity, an interview series where I share the words of creative mums who inspire me here on Substack and beyond.

I’ll be sharing words of joy, strength, creativity and community in motherhood.

I feel like when we read the words of mums who speak so honestly about motherhood - the good parts, the hard parts and everything in between - this can really help give us some comfort and feel less alone.

I find so much inspiration from reading about mums who are all weaving their work and creativity around their kids too, as this is the situation I’m currently in. Knowing that there are other mums out there with creative dreams and careers and they are making it work around the edges of motherhood, that is so encouraging.

I hope you enjoy reading the words from these wonderful mums over the next few weeks and months, and that you find comfort and inspiration in their words too.

You can read the most recent of the Motherhood and Creativity interview series here:

Motherhood and Creativity Interview #4 with

Lyndsay Kaldor

Motherhood and Creativity Interview #5 with

Ellie Nova

Motherhood and Creativity Interview #6 with

Child + Line by Sasha Kahn

Motherhood and Creativity Interview #7 - Aleks Balazy-Knas

Aleks is a CBT therapist and a mother, passionately writing about perinatal mental health, matrescence, and the complexities of motherhood on her Substack publication

Unscrewing Motherhood

.

Through her writing, she aims to support and connect with other mothers navigating the profound changes and challenges of this journey.

How old are your kids?

2.5 years old and 4.5 years old

When your children are older, what do you hope that they remember about the kind of mum that you were?

I hope my children remember me as a mum who was truly present and engaged in their lives. I want them to recall the joy of tossing around on the play mat, chasing each other on all fours, snuggling while watching cartoons, and the comfort they felt when I listened and cuddled them as they shared their difficulties.

I want them to think of me as a funny mum who brought laughter into their lives, and to have fond memories of my cooking – the kind of tastes that only a family home can provide. I also hope they remember me as someone who was fair, made thoughtful choices, and lived by strong values, setting an example for them to follow.

When you think about the tough parts of your motherhood journey, which of your qualities/strengths have got you through these tough times?

One of the key strengths that has helped me through tough times is my ability to be compassionate with myself. This wasn’t something that came naturally and required a lot of inner work, but it has been invaluable.

Being honest about my struggles and asking for help has also been crucial; I consider this a strength, not a weakness. Additionally, my resilience – the ability to keep going and fighting even when I felt I had no strength left – has carried me through many challenging moments.

What brings you joy in motherhood?

What brings me joy is watching my children grow and become their own unique individuals with distinct likes and dislikes, all while maintaining a strong bond with me. I love showing them the world, explaining how things work, and observing the cycles of life together.

Seeing their kind, gentle, and playful souls give me hope that they have the power to make the world a better place. I truly believe that viewing the world through a child’s eyes can bring about positive change.

How important is creativity to you?

Creativity has become an essential part of my life, especially since becoming a mother. While I’ve always been creative, I now intentionally carve out time to draw, meditate, take quiet walks in nature, and engage in activities with my children without focusing on the outcome. Journaling, reading novels, and doing arts and crafts with my kids are now integral parts of my life. I can’t imagine a day without these creative outlets.

Tell us more about your favourite ways to be creative.

Nature is my greatest muse. Whether it’s the greenery of grass, the majesty of mountains, or the tranquillity of the sea, being in nature calms my mind and sparks a surge of creative ideas. I often carry a small notepad to jot down thoughts, ideas, or images that come to mind. I prefer the traditional method of writing with pen and paper; there’s something deeply creative about that tactile process.

I also find that evenings, when the house is quiet and the children are in bed, are perfect for indulging in creative activities like writing, sketching, or brainstorming new projects with my kids.

Since becoming a mum, have you experienced a creative surge? What did that look like for you?

My first creative surge occurred during my pregnancy with my first son. A friend gifted me a personalised pregnancy journal, and I began drawing small objects or animals each week as my baby grew, along with writing summaries of my weekly experiences. This journal is now a cherished keepsake. Since then, I’ve eagerly engaged in arts and crafts with my son, enjoying activities like squeezing playdough, splashing in water, and creating art with various materials.

Now, with both my sons, we regularly draw and paint, often inspired by their love for dinosaurs and animals. We also explore nature together, observing bugs and drawing them afterward, which strengthens our bond and fuels our creativity.

What does honouring your creativity look like for you in this season of your mothering?

With my children still young and demanding a lot of my attention, my time for “adult creativity” is limited. However, I make the most of small moments – journaling a few sentences, taking a mindful walk, or capturing an inspiring photo.

I fill my creative cup by engaging in activities with my kids and being present in those joyful moments. Embracing these shared experiences is my way of honouring creativity during this busy season of motherhood.

What’s been your experience of finding a community in motherhood?

Entering motherhood, I naively thought I could maintain my social life as before. Although I was aware of the saying "It takes a village to raise a child," I declined my mum's offer to come and stay with us early postpartum. I believed that after reading most of the parenting and pregnancy books on the market, I knew what was coming!

Thankfully, friends with older children encouraged me and my husband to attend antenatal classes, where we connected with other couples. Postnatally, these connections became a great source of support, especially as we all had babies of similar ages. There was always another child crying in the café or another mum at her wits' end with sleep deprivation and developmental leaps, which really normalized things for me.

One of these connections blossomed into a true friendship. Both of us are mums of two boys, born just weeks apart, providing constant support for each other, day and night. As my boys grow, we’re expanding our tribe, especially as my eldest starts forming his own friendships.

What words of encouragement would you offer to a mum who might be struggling at the moment?

First and foremost, don’t beat yourself up. When things are tough, you need to be your own friend, offering validation and understanding. Remind yourself that shouting or feeling overwhelmed doesn’t make you a bad mother; it makes you a tired one. Work on turning the compassion you have for your children inward toward yourself.

Secondly, (and this is coming from a perfectionist): lower your standards and expectations. There are no medals for exclusive breastfeeding, organic meals from scratch, or perfect Montessori toys. Everything has its place, but not at the cost of your mental health. Sometimes, the main goal of the day is just to SURVIVE and meet basic needs, and that is absolutely fine. We’ve all been there.

You can find out more about Aleks here:

• Substack -

  Unscrewing Motherhood

• Instagram

Thank you for your wonderful words Aleks.

There’s so much I enjoyed in this interview, especially:

• when Aleks was talking about the kind of mum that she hopes her kids remember - a mums who plays with them and is fun, a mum who is engaged and present, a mum who is fair and has strong values - it made me think that the way in which we mother is almost like us showing our personality to our kids, and that’s what makes us all beautifully different and unique in the kind of mums that we are.

• how Aleks talks about compassion, being honest about her struggles and resilience being her strengths that have carried her through the tough parts of motherhood - I wholeheartedly agree that being honest about your struggles is a strength. It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable and it’s something to be proud of.

• when Aleks talks about how she blends creative time for her and creative time with her kids and how much enjoyment she gets out of that too.

• this compassionate advice that Aleks would give a mum who is having a tough time:

“Remind yourself that shouting or feeling overwhelmed doesn’t make you a bad mother; it makes you a tired one. Work on turning the compassion you have for your children inward toward yourself.”

• And finally, Aleks has unknowingly written down my daily parenting motto here!:

“Sometimes, the main goal of the day is just to SURVIVE and meet basic needs, and that is absolutely fine.”

I hope you enjoyed this interview in the ‘Motherhood and Creativity’ interview series - I’ll be publishing these interviews every fortnight for as long as the interviews keep coming through.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments:

• Which of Aleks’ words resonated with you?

• How does your personality show through in the way that you mother?

• What are your favourite ways to be creative with your kids?