Motherhood and Creativity Interview #16 - Holly Brown
Holly is a full-time stay at home mum who writes historical tales around the edges of motherhood.
Welcome to Motherhood and Creativity, an interview series where I share the words of creative mums who inspire me here on Substack and beyond.
I share words of joy, strength, creativity and community in motherhood.
I feel like when we read the words of mums who speak so honestly about motherhood - the good parts, the hard parts and everything in between - this can really help give us some comfort and feel less alone.
I find so much inspiration from reading about mums who are all weaving their work and creativity around their kids too, as this is the situation I’m currently in. Knowing that there are other mums out there with creative dreams and careers and they are making it work around the edges of motherhood, that is so encouraging.
I hope you enjoy reading the words from these wonderful mums over the next few months, and that you find comfort and inspiration in their words too.
You can read all 15 of the previous Motherhood and Creativity interviews here.
Motherhood and Creativity Interview #16 - Holly Brown
Holly lives in South Yorkshire with her husband and one-year-old son. Holly used to be a primary school teacher, leading on English, early reading and special educational needs; now she’s a full-time stay at home mum who writes historical tales around the edges of motherhood. In September 2024, Holly started a PhD in Archaeology, researching the role of women in the conversion of England.
How old are your kids?
My son is 13 months old.
When your children are older, what do you hope that they remember about the kind of mum that you were?
Right up there would have to be that he would remember how much, and how unconditionally, I love him. I have to admit that we didn’t have that ‘love at first sight’ experience when he was born, and that’s something I feel a lot of guilt and shame about. But now, a year on, I can truly say that I love him so much that it almost hurts (it’s a cliché but it’s true!).
More than this, though, I hope that he remembers me as kind, fair, and fun. That I respected him as an individual and gave him the security that he needed to explore this beautiful, but tough, world we live in. That I took the time to get to know him and the things he loved, and then gave him space to lean into those interests.
When you think about the tough parts of your motherhood journey, which of your qualities/strengths have got you through these tough times?
We’ve had a lot of ups and downs in this first year. I was very unwell immediately after he was born, the trauma of which eventually manifested itself as PTSD. We also had a good three months where he would only sleep on me, which was exhausting.
I would say that my stubbornness and determination, both of which can be flaws, enabled me to stick to my convictions during these times, even though many of these go against the grain of twenty-first-century motherhood.
I knew that I wanted to do things differently - breastfeed exclusively, protect his sleep at all costs, pursue a Montessori style of play - and this was hard when lots of people were telling me that I could make life easier for myself by just backing down. I’m so glad that my determination got me through!
What brings you joy in motherhood?
I love seeing him learn new things. As a teacher, it’s really precious to see him go through that learning cycle on his own: seeing something he wants to do, trying to work out how to do it, struggling a little, and then eventually achieving it. It’s beautiful how much joy he gets from overcoming challenges.
How important is creativity to you?
Hugely. It’s my release from the mundane world of motherhood: that wake, change, eat, play, sleep cycle on repeat is not where it’s at!
When I read and write, I find that I can escape for a few hours and become me again.
Tell us more about your favourite ways to be creative.
Reading has always been my top way for pursuing creativity, especially when I was working full-time as a teacher and had very little energy left at the end of the day. I read a lot, always having multiple books on the go with a variety of genres and formats (paper books, audio books, Kindle books…).
In the past year, I’ve also leant into my desire to write fiction, and I am loving it. I have a super active imagination and am a really sensitive person, often feeling like I can experience other people’s emotions when they are going through things. I find that writing has given these big thoughts freedom from the constraints of my mind – which means that I feel much more at peace when I write.
Asides from reading and writing, I enjoy spending time in my garden, tending to the plants and my fruit and vegetable patches. I also love looking up home décor and fashion inspiration on Pinterest and trying to put that into practice in my own life. I’m not always successful – but I have a lot of fun trying!
Since becoming a mum, have you experienced a creative surge? What did that look like for you?
Definitely – but perhaps it’s more because I am not working full-time as I was before so now I have more time to be creative. I always knew that I would need something to keep me busy while the little one naps, as I am not very good at resting… I started my Substack
, in October 2023, where I post fiction and non-fiction posts relating to early medieval England. I did History for my undergrad degree and a masters that I completed just three weeks before my little one was born, and it is my real passion.But it's not just the academic writing that brings me joy - it's the stories that I've learnt about people along the way. People whose lives were recorded as just the briefest mention in a written text, for example, but whose experience can be illuminated with a bit of hard work and creativity. Or people who were pushed out of the limelight yet totally deserve to be put back there. I've found a real drive to share these stories since starting on Substack, which all became possible through becoming a mum (and therefore not teaching full-time anymore!).
What does honouring your creativity look like for you in this season of your mothering?
I think keeping it fun and joyful. It was always meant to be something to enjoy while in the trenches of early motherhood, so it’s super important that it stays this way.
What’s been your experience of finding a community in motherhood?
There is so much solidarity out there amongst mums. I had been really nervous about the motherhood community before my son was born, as all I’d heard about it was how judgemental it can be. I’ve seen a little bit of this, but honestly the mums here on Substack are just the best. So kind, so generous, and so compassionate. I’m not a baby group kind of person, and most of my friends don’t yet have babies – but hearing other mums’ experiences on here has just been the best.
What words of encouragement would you offer to a mum who might be struggling at the moment?
Hang on in there. Most things are just for a season and it will (most likely) pass. And if it feels too much? Really don’t be afraid to ask for help. I never ask for help – literally ever – but there have been times over the past year that I knew I couldn’t do it alone. This was so humbling and I found it deeply uncomfortable, but I really needed it.
You can find out more about here:
Substack:
&Etsy Store: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/AdmiringTheViewCo
Instagram: @holly.a.brown
Thank you for your wonderful words Holly.
I enjoyed so many parts of this interview and found it interesting when Holly talked about:
not getting the ‘love at first sight’ feeling when her son was born - I think this is so relatable. Society has led us to believe that that’s how we should feel, like we instantly know our babies and we love them straight away, but it doesn’t always happen like that. It takes time to get to know your baby and that love builds over time, and that’s OK - we need to be told this message more as mums.
how her stubbornness and determination allowed her to stick to her convictions as a mum and gave her confidence to mother her way
how creativity is her release from the mundane world of motherhood and it’s a way to escape - having a creative outlet alongside mothering and knowing that you have that escape and something of your own to sink into is the perfect contrast to the mundane parts of mothering
how writing fiction helps Holly feel more at peace:
“In the past year, I’ve also leant into my desire to write fiction, and I am loving it. I have a super active imagination and am a really sensitive person, often feeling like I can experience other people’s emotions when they are going through things. I find that writing has given these big thoughts freedom from the constraints of my mind – which means that I feel much more at peace when I write.
how Holly has found a supportive community of mums here on Substack:
“…but honestly the mums here on Substack are just the best. So kind, so generous, and so compassionate.”
I hope you enjoyed this interview in the ‘Motherhood and Creativity’ series - I publish these interviews every fortnight, and will continue to for as long as the interviews keep coming through.
You can read all 15 of the previous Motherhood and Creativity interviews here.
Let me know in the comments, which of Holly’s words resonated with you.
Ways to work with me this Autumn:
Today is the last day to join 🍂The Autumn Sanctuary 🍂
The Autumn Sanctuary is 4 weeks of cosy weekly online gathering circles for mums to reflect, dream and connect all whilst sinking into the seasonal energy of Autumn.
Each gathering circle will be a blend of group coaching, journalling, seasonal meditations, mindfulness and self-compassion exercises.
We are going to harness the seasonal energy of Autumn and focus on these different themes each week:
letting go of what no longer serves you
bringing more balance into your life
what you are grateful for this year &
celebrating your achievements of 2024
The Autumn Sanctuary is going to support you in:
having some dedicated time and space out for yourself
being kinder to yourself as you learn how seasonal energy impacts your own energy levels
finding clarity on your thoughts and feelings from journalling and sharing your story
feeling grounded and soothed as you listen to the seasonal meditations I’ve designed especially for mums
feeling energised and uplifted by the collective healing energy of a like-minded group of mums
finding a small community of like-minded mums and feeling inspired and comforted by them sharing their similar experiences to you
I’d love for you to join us!
I’ve got space for 12 mums and we start on Sat 2nd November.
You can find all the info here.
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Thanks for sharing Jenna! 🥰