Time for a different perspective

Plus seasonal self-compassion, embracing Autumn and a collaboration request from me.

After starting strong in September, when I was feeling full of energy, setting plans and goals, this last week has felt the opposite.

Knowing what I have to do, but procrastinating.

Then feeling bad, because I didn’t do the thing I was supposed to do.

There’s two things that I’ve reflected on this week, after feeling this way:

1. Why do I expect myself to be full of energy and on top of things all the time?

2. Why am I being so hard on myself?

The reality is that it does feel hard to create at the moment.

I’ve been consuming more than I create and it’s kind of muddying the waters a bit.

I’m feeling like, am I creating the right thing, in the right way?

And then I’m spending so long wrestling with that, that I don’t get anything done.

Maybe it's time for a different perspective

When I get in my head like this, I try to get curious and think of the situation that I’m finding hard, from a different perspective.

• Maybe things are unfolding exactly as they were meant to.

• Maybe it’s not the end of the world if my goals get pushed forward by two weeks.

• Maybe giving myself some time to rest is actually helping my creativity.

I talk about this a lot

I’ve been writing here on Substack since May 2023, and a lot of my posts are talking about this same thing - times when I’m being hard on myself and how I can give myself more self-compassion by looking at the situation in a different way.

I sometimes feel like, OK, you’ve had this lesson so many times now, how don’t you know to just get over it, or at least get through it?

I’ve realised that it’s not the same lesson that comes up again. It may seem like the same one, but each time it comes up we chip away at it a little and we grow. So the lesson changes each time.

So, even though I am a Coach and I support mums with these very things I’m struggling with, I still need to be reminded of these truths (maybe you do too?):

• Your productivity does not equal your worth

• It is OK to rest and to stop

• It is OK not to know the answer

• Taking any action, no matter how small is better than taking none.

It's about going forward in a way that matches my energy day to day, instead of the energy that I wish I had.

Seasonal energy

I’ve read so many good Substack posts over the weekend about embracing Autumn, like this one from

Emily Male

.

Reading these posts made me realise that my energy is probably feeling so changeable because I’m adapting to the change in seasons. Just realising that means that I can give myself more self-compassion too.

So, on Sunday morning, I read through my seasonal and poetry books to surround myself with soothing words of what Autumn means - and it’s a time for gratitude and a time for balance. A time to take stock on everything that you’ve achieved so far, and recognising those achievements.

So, going forward I’m going to be keeping gratitude and balance in mind, as we move through Autumn. Especially when I have wobbles like these.

A bit of baking and a bit of reading

I spent a bit of time looking up Autumn cake recipes last week and baked these two recipes this weekend:

• Carrot cake - minus the raisins. I’ve been sneaking bits of this cake for breakfast!

• Vegan ginger loaf cake - I added cinnamon too, did them as muffins instead of a loaf and then put some icing sugar mixed with orange juice over the top. My kids loved these!

I adapt all of our recipes so they are dairy, nut and egg free because my kids have allergies. So, my eldest two kids can eat eggs but my youngest can’t, so he won’t have the carrot cake.

I’m also loving reading Autumn themed books at the moment - I enjoyed The Cinnamon Bun Book Store by Laurie Gilmore and I’m currently listening to the audiobook of Rewitched by Lucy Jane Wood which is really good too.

Then I basically searched ‘witch romance’ and ‘autumn romance’ on my Kindle and I've also got my eye on Hex and The City and the Filthy Rich Vampires series too. Forever buying too many books!

I’d love to hear your Autumn themed book recommendations too.

I’d love to write a guest post for you - collaboration request

I’ve really enjoyed running the Motherhood and Creativity interviews, and have enough interviews scheduled now until March 2025, which is amazing.

Thank you to all of the wonderful mums who have been part of this series so far - each and every interview inspires me to think about creativity in a different way.

Now, (*takes a deep breath'*), I’d love to put myself forward to write a guest post for your Substack publication.

If taking imperfect action, self-compassion, self-care and honesty around motherhood would fit in with your Substack publication, then just DM me or email me - jennafolarin@gmail.com.

I’ve love to cultivate a wider community and network here on Substack and hope that by reaching out like this, I can achieve that goal.

Substack posts I’ve loved recently

• Looking for chunky books to curl up and read this Autumn?

  Natalie
  from
  Moonstruck Reads
  has got you covered with Ten Chunky Reads for Fall

• Lyndsay Kaldor
  encapsulates the energy of this in-between season with glimpses of late Summer and into Autumn and the up and down energy that goes with that in A time to gather, layer and harvest

• Beautiful honest reflections on those early newborn days from

  Violet Carol
  in Out of the Depths of the Newborn Trenches

• Julia
  from
  of rosemary and time
  reflects on writing, insecurites and mothering in Why I Write

• A powerful post from

  Emma Del Rey
  on how Motherhood is not a problem to be solved.

Ways to work with me this Autumn

• Swap overwhelm, mum-guilt and anger for calm and compassion by building up tiny moments of daily self-care over 12 weeks with the Bespoke Self-Care Plan for Mums.

• Are you ready to make positive changes in your life in a gentle and kind way, that fits in with your life as a busy mum right now?

  Then I’m here to encourage you, really listen to you and keep you accountable with Rediscover YOU, a 12 week 1 to 1 coaching experience. 

  Book a virtual cuppa with me to find out more!

Thank you so much for reading!

I’d love to hear from you in the comments:

• What are your favourite Autumn themed books to read?

• How are you embracing Autumn?

• What have been your favourite Substack posts lately?

You might also like some of my most recent posts:

• Motherhood and Creativity Interview #13 with Karen Osman

• A summer round up and setting September goals

• Motherhood and Creativity Interview #12 with Zoe Gardiner

• A must read book for mums