Time to take my own advice

Getting out of my own way and trying something new on my Substack

Photo by Simon Berger on Unsplash

This post is all about getting out of my own way, taking imperfect action and talking about my plans for future posts.

I had a deliberate break from posting on Substack (and Instagram) for most of January, which left space for lots of journalling which I’ve loved. Just writing about what’s on my mind has felt really cathartic. I’ve also had lots of new ideas for my Substack and coaching business in general, because I’ve had that space to think and dream in my journal.

Although, I‘m quickly realising that it’s simply impossible to put ALL of those ideas into action, with the time I’ve got available to me as a stay at home mum.

Overthinking it

What I have noticed is that with having all the ideas, what also comes along with that is a whole load of overthinking.

I’ve lost that momentum of posting every week, my confidence has gone down. When I started my Substack back in May 2023, I was in the habit of taking imperfect action and just going for it.

Instead, I’m getting in my head a bit now and thinking of that pretty much all of my writing is just not good enough. That’s the perfectionist in me talking - when rationally I know that perfect doesn’t exist.

I think this lack of confidence might also be because I want to write about different things too, so I feel like, “Is this OK to write about?”, “Am I qualified enough to write about this?.”

The thing is, who am I waiting for this permission from? Who is this magic person who is going to assess me and tell me that my exact combination of qualifications and life experience means that I can write about a certain topic???

I know what the answer is deep down - it’s to give myself the permission slip to write about what I want to.

I know what it’s like on both sides

Waiting around, with all these ideas in my head and feeling frustrated because it seemed like they would never go anywhere - I did that for years and years before I took the leap to retrain as a Coach back in 2020.

So, I know what it’s like to doubt yourself, to think that you aren’t good enough, to think that you aren’t ready and to worry what people will think of you.

I also know what it’s like to go against all of this fear and worry and to commit to trying something new. To acknowledge the doubts, worries and fears and do it anyway. To take action before you feel ready. To do something you love and something that lights you up. Which for me, is writing here on Substack, coaching mums, running retreats for mums and recording my podcast.

I know that I've had the confidence to show up imperfectly before, so I know I can do this again. I just need to remind myself that I'm capable and bring that self-belief back.

So today, this post is my permission slip.

To write before I feel ready

To write imperfectly

To believe that it will all work out and

To show up even with the chaos of my kids in the background.

Noticing this pattern

It’s so interesting because I know this is a pattern for me - having all the ideas, wildly overestimating how much I can achieve and the feelings of perfectionism annd failure that come along with that.

I talked about this more in one of my early Substack posts from June last year:

That post also gives me the answer too, of what I can do about this:

“So, for now, I’m all about the small steps, celebrating my progress and regularly reflecting on what’s working and what’s not.“

This is something I’m going to remember going forward - to take my own advice and get out of my own way.

So, what’s the plan?

My plan going forward for The Motherhood Connection is to write two posts a month, (sometimes it may be more depending on how much time I have).

One post will be a monthly series called ‘The Remembering’.

The other post will be a monthly series called ‘Cocoon’.

The Remembering

This monthly series will be all about remembering yourself. Not who you are as a mum, or a wife, a partner, a daughter, a sister, a friend or a colleague.

You.

Instead, remembering who you are before society told you who you should be.

Let’s drown out the loud voices of:

• perfectionism

• people-pleasing

• self-criticism

• ALL of the ‘shoulds’

And instead, let’s remember:

• your power, your strength and resilience.

• what you are capable of

• what is important to you and what makes you feel like you

• your hopes and dreams

In this monthly series, using my experience as a Coach for Mums, I’ll be supporting you to remember who you are and to take action on this, in a totally sustainable way as a mum, which means;

• embracing the small steps

• taking imperfect action

• celebrating our achievements

• changing our mindset around mistakes and failure

I hope that you find this monthly series uplifting, empowering and that it’s a way to help you find your way back to who you always have been.

Cocoon

Cocoon will be a monthly post all about the creative process and creativity, specifically in relation to mums.

It’s this idea of being in the messy middle. The bit where you are working things out, doubting yourself and coming up with new ideas. When you are finding the courage to try something new even though you don’t know how it’ll work out.

I love reading about the creative process, and what it takes for us to actually create something. The struggles that we all have. The behind-the scenes. The posts that make me feel like, “OK, it’s not just me who struggles with the doubts and fears, other people do too.”

I’ve especially enjoy reading posts about how mums create in the time they have available to them, as well as how motherhood inspires their creativity.

So, this is what I want to write about in Cocoon, because I know that when I read these kind of posts, it gives me more self-belief, more encouragement and sparks my creativity. I hope that these monthly posts will do the same for you too.

Trying something new

It felt important to me to do these monthly series, to try them out, to experiment and see how they feel.

That’s the whole point here on Substack I think, to experiment and try out different things. To write about things that you really want to write about and that light you up. To be creative. To see what works.

So, that’s my plan going forward, 2 monthly posts and potentially a post in between depending on the length of nap-times and free time over the weekend.

I hope that you like the sound of The Remembering and Cocoon, I’m excited to see how these monthly posts go!

Thank you so much for reading - I really appreciate each and every subscriber and every comment, share and re-stack from you.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments:

• Has the new year inspired a change of direction for you?

• What kind of topics do you love writing about or reading about?

• What Substack posts have you enjoyed lately?