My messy middle and lots of new plans

Reflecting on my new values and realising I have to do things differently this time

This is the third post of my monthly series called ‘Cocoon’.

Cocoon is a monthly series all about how mums create in the time they have available to them, as well as how motherhood inspires their creativity.

I’ll also be delving into this idea of being in the messy middle. The bit where you are working things out, doubting yourself and coming up with new ideas. When you are finding the courage to try something new even though you don’t know how it’ll work out.

You can read the first post in the series here and the second post in this series here.

I hope that this monthly series gives you more self-belief, encouragement and it sparks your creativity.

Photo by Eilis Garvey on Unsplash

So, in the spirit of this monthly series being all about the messy middle, I’m inviting you behind the scenes in my business today.

I’m having a kind of creative surge again, where I’m having all the ideas and the motivation to really change things and do things differently in my coaching business.

I think it’s because it’s been a year since I started back up again with my business, and my 1 year Substack-aversary is coming up soon too.

So, it’s the combination of having a natural reflection and pause point after a year, and feeling a slight shift in the seasonal energy of Spring too.

All the ideas

I’m having all of the ideas at the moment. Now, ideas, I’m never short of. Ever.

I have so many Google Docs with ideas for different workshops, online courses, content, draft posts that I forget what I’ve written down. The hard part is honing those ideas. Simplifying them. Putting them into some kind of plan that makes sense.

It’s this planning stage that I can get stuck at.

My natural instinct is to make a big grand plan where I draw all of the information I can together and then take action on that. But, the reality is, over the past year I haven’t had the time to plan ahead. I’ve just had the time to coach my clients, write the post or record the podcast episode.

I’m a stay at home mum of three and I work during nap-times and occasionally in the evenings (depending on how well my youngest sleeps). So, I’ve not got much time at all to fit everything in to those short windows of time.

From writing here on Substack for the past year, it’s actually been really helpful for me to notice patterns in myself that keep coming up over and over.

I’ve recognised that I can get very overwhelmed when making changes, because I want to do it all, which means I’ve got unrealistic expectations of myself.

I’m learning to change this pattern in myself by taking a different approach to what I would normally do in this planning stage.

One of those different approaches was deciding to follow my own advice and do what I ask my coaching client’s to do - check whether my current values and priorities had changed from May 2023.

Why are working out your values important?

Values help you uncover what really matters to you, what’s driving you and motivating you so when we know what they are, we can be more intentional around our choices and decisions.

Aligning your values with your goals also means you’ll be more likely to achieve those goals, because they really mean something to you.

Have my values and priorities changed in the past year?

It’s interesting to look back at my Substack from last year actually, and this post from last June where I talked about aligning my values of authenticity, resilience, creativity and connection with my goals.

Earlier this week, I re-did the values exercise that I mention in Episode 2 of my podcast on ‘How have your priorities changed as a mum? and from that exercise, I worked out that my new values are:

• curiosity

• joy

• family

• abundance

• audacity

The energy of these words feel very different to my previous values - they feel a bit more out there and brave, and my last set of values had a gentler energy to them.

These values are about me feeling ready to step out of my comfort zone and to take up space.

To talk about my work as a Coach for Mums more, to try out and experiment with new offers and to prioritise joy and my family.

Above all, having a curious approach to all of this and to try and do things differently to the way I’ve always done things.

What has worked well for me over the last year

• I’ve got the experience of launching and recording my podcast - The Inspiring Mums Podcast, as well as moving it over to Substack

Recording my podcast during naptime in my kids bedroom - I’m all about taking that imperfect action!

• I’ve got the experience of creating, selling and running Mini Retreats for Mums (I’ve run 3 in total now).

Feeling so proud at my first Mini Retreat for Mums, back in Sept 2023

• I’ve been finding my writing voice through my Substack posts here. I written 40 posts including this one and have reached over 100 subscribers!

• I’ve made so many wonderful connections with like-minded mums here on Substack -

  Lauren Barber
  Lyndsay Kaldor
  Kylie-Ann
  Zoe Gardiner
  Sarah Robertson
  Mariah Friend
  Elizabeth Hannam
  Jennifer Cat
  Stephanie
  Holly A Brown
  Stephanie Jucar Cooley
  Karen Cannon
  Child + Line by Sasha Kahn
  &
  Ellie Nova
  , to name a few!

• I’ve had the confidence to reach out and collaborate with mums who inspire me on my Substack through my ‘Motherhood and Creativity’ interview series & by having guests on my podcast

• I regularly took imperfect action which built up my confidence and has built up a body of work which I’m so proud of.

What hasn’t worked so well in the last year:

• I haven’t been talking about my work as a Coach for Mums enough.

• I have only found the time to do the work and haven’t been able to plan ahead

• I’ve got online courses that I’ve signed up for and have paid for, but haven’t found the time to do them

• I haven’t had a strategic plan in place so have felt a bit like I’m floating out at sea

A rough plan

I have so many plans floating around my head for what I want to focus on for the next year and some ideas are:

• Record new podcast episodes - I’m hoping to record 2 more seasons in 2024.

• Work with 2 clients a month on a 1 to 1 basis - (I’ve got space for another 1 to 1 client at the moment, so if you are an overwhelmed mum looking to feel calmer and happier, I’d love to support you.)

• Create and run online workshops

• Show up on Instagram in a way that doesn’t feel completely overwhelming

• Create a marketing strategy (inspired by a gentle marketing approach from this book, this book and this book)

• Create the time to plan, set goals and review them each month

Just through writing this post and setting down my intentions has felt quite powerful and I kind of feel like I’m drawing a line in the sand - as in I’m really happy with everything I’ve done and achieved in the past year, and I’m ready to build on that and try different things now.

I’ve also realised that I won’t be able to achieve any of this if I don’t think about my capacity and how much time I actually have to do the work.

It’s highly likely that the plan that I create will have way more on it than I can realistically achieve, so that will take a bit of trial and error and regular reflection to see how it all feels.

I’m excited to see where this next year takes me - I’m ready to get more strategic now and bring in that abundance into my life. Right on cue, my youngest has just woke up from his nap, so I’ll end this here!

Substack posts I’ve enjoyed recently:

• This post from

  Lisa Mabberley
  on how to make a flower crown - I’ve saved this as an activity to do with my daughter in the summer

• This powerful post from

  Mariah Friend
  on the complexities of mum guilt and how it weaves it’s way into all areas of our lives

• Loved this refreshing take post all about fierce compassion from

  Eliza Butler
  especially this part:

"Because self-compassion isn’t appealing in our world. It doesn’t promise instant gratification or external validation."

• Thanks to

  Laura
  and her book recommendation for Binding 13 in this post, I’m now totally hooked on the Boys of Tommen series by Chloe Walsh!

Thank you so much for reading - I appreciate every single like, comment and restack from you!

I’d love for you to join me in the comments and let me know:

• Do you struggle with having all the ideas but no time to actually do them as well?

• What are your values?

• What’s your current messy middle?

• What Substack posts have you loved reading lately?